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bego Funny Status Messages
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Page: 99 of 138
Men are like mascara, they usually run at the first sign of emotion.
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05-18-2011 21:23 by
BEGO
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Driving a rental car means never knowing the safest place to wipe a booger without haphazardly finding someone else's.
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06-14-2012 22:15 by
BEGO
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My keyboard needs a removable crumb tray like my toaster
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10-01-2012 22:33 by
BEGO
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When you have a baby, does a hormone in your body force you to make your baby your Facebook profile picture?
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07-26-2012 22:08 by
BEGO
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You know it's going to be a great story when it starts out with "So, this damn bi&ch..."
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01-11-2013 21:27 by
BEGO
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I wish weekends went by like microwave minutes
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06-09-2013 23:05 by
BEGO
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If you play a Nicki Minaj song and a Snoop song at the same time, you can understand what they're saying
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04-10-2012 21:14 by
BEGO
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t’s true we don’t know what we’ve got until its gone, but we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives
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09-13-2013 23:23 by
BEGO
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“cannot connect to network. try resetting your wireless router” umm ok but what if my router is in my neighbor’s house? Should I call him?
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01-25-2014 20:51 by
BEGO
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She: I spend hours in front of the mirror admiring my beauty. Do you think that's vanity? He: No. I think that's imagination.
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05-23-2011 22:04 by
BEGO
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I wish my past could be my future
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07-07-2010 22:26 by
BEGO
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Yellow, Orange, Red. Gatorade has colors, not flavors.
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08-25-2012 22:59 by
BEGO
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I hate when people only talk to me when they need something.
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01-15-2013 21:16 by
BEGO
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It appears I'm friends with at least 200 babies on Facebook.
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11-30-2012 22:36 by
BEGO
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The whole concept of Halloween is wierd. Everyone dresses funny and total strangers reward them with candy.
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10-30-2011 21:44 by
BEGO
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I don't need anger management -I need people to stop pissing me the hell off!!
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06-07-2012 21:57 by
BEGO
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You say: "I now pronounce you man and wife". I hear: "FINISH HIM!!" (Mortal Combat music blasting)
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06-14-2012 22:11 by
BEGO
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My entire life is a “you had to be there” moment.
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06-22-2012 22:46 by
BEGO
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I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.
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11-10-2012 22:40 by
BEGO
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Some people are just not worth my energy.
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12-16-2011 21:47 by
BEGO
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