bego Funny Status Messages
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Taking awful cold medicine as a kid taught me how to take shots in college.
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08-24-2013 22:14 by BEGO
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I met the girl of my dreams last night, then I woke up.
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05-10-2012 21:17 by BEGO
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Hitting your hip on a corner and feeling like you've been shot.
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05-17-2012 21:21 by BEGO
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It's not that I need Anger Management, it's that others need Stupidity Management.
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04-17-2012 21:07 by BEGO
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What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins “Once upon a time…” A southern fairytale begins “Y'all ain't gonna believe this s@%t…”
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03-08-2011 01:48 by BEGO
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BEST WAY TO DIE: Clint Eastwood shooting you while Morgan Freeman narrates it.
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03-08-2013 21:15 by BEGO
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Forget the damn past. Remember the lesson.
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07-16-2010 23:11 by BEGO
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Today someone asked me how I would react if someone jumped off a bridge. I laughed and said,"depends on who it is that jumped!!"
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08-01-2011 22:25 by BEGO
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I'm ready for hoodies, bonfires, cuddling, and the beautiful colors of fall.
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09-20-2012 21:49 by BEGO
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OPERATOR: "9-1-1 please hold." ME: "Okay. Wait, stop stabbing me for a sec." MURDERER: "K."
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03-06-2012 19:57 by BEGO
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I use Google to check if I have internet connection more than I use Google to Google.
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04-21-2012 22:38 by BEGO
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NEWS FLASH: "Before" is spelled B-E-F-O-R-E, not B4...this is English, not Bingo.
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04-20-2012 21:21 by BEGO
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$2.75 Trojans or $19.99 Huggies? You make the decision.
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06-03-2012 23:01 by BEGO
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Summer is almost over... All you half naked bit$hes gonna have to find a personality soon.
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09-02-2015 00:17 by BEGO
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Moment of silence for people who still wear Aeropostale.
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12-06-2012 20:57 by BEGO
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I swear I am tired of Hearing SOME Females be like: I am mixed with Black, Dominican, White and Indian. Shut your Ass up you are sounding like a damn science experiment to me.
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04-11-2014 22:14 by BEGO
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Are you cold?" No dumbass, I'm on fuc?ing vibrate mode.
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11-11-2012 21:27 by BEGO
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Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
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04-10-2012 21:09 by BEGO
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Everyone pretends to die in front of their dog, just to see how they would react
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10-13-2012 23:34 by BEGO
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I’m going to Hell. Anybody want anything?
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01-25-2014 20:48 by BEGO
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