bego Funny Status Messages
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My EX was like "We can still be friends" damn is like saying "Hey, the gold fish died but we can keep it"
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06-22-2011 22:16 by BEGO
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I liked you when we first met but, since then, you've talked me out of it.
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09-28-2011 22:04 by BEGO
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Does AT&T allow phone calls on their network? Anyone know?
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03-16-2011 19:42 by BEGO
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Look down at your chest, a little to the left OK - that's where i'll always rest.
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04-28-2011 23:30 by BEGO
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Eighteen is too young to get married! You can't even buy alcohol. If you can't drink, how are you going to make your damn marriage work?
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01-13-2013 23:23 by BEGO
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I think I had my zipper down when I slapped my girlfriend at Walmart. I could hear people murmuring,"OMG what a d$ck!"
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06-09-2012 22:28 by BEGO
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Hey graffiti artists, how the hell did you get up there?
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09-05-2013 22:45 by BEGO
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I think that work and microwave minutes are longer than regular minutes.
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05-08-2012 21:08 by BEGO
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If I had $100 for every time I read something interesting on my Facebook feed, I'd be very poor.
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05-14-2012 21:09 by BEGO
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I only have a home phone so I can find my cell phone.
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04-03-2012 21:31 by BEGO
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Spotted on the back of a T-shirt worn by LAPD Bomb Squad: If you see me running, try to keep up.
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06-24-2011 22:18 by BEGO
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Some guy screwed you over? Would you like to explain how the whole male population is responsible for this?
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08-16-2013 22:14 by BEGO
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You say “I'm sorry,” I hear “I surrender.”
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12-28-2012 22:15 by BEGO
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Skinny jeans should not have pockets.
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10-23-2013 00:07 by BEGO
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We naturally want a girl in our lives. Girls only like ass-holes. Guys become ass-holes to adjust. It's natural. Don't blame us.
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11-15-2013 22:36 by BEGO
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Being a FEMALE is a matter of BIRTH, being a WOMAN is a matter of AGE, but being a LADY is a matter of CHOICE...
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06-17-2012 22:22 by BEGO
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One time I smashed my face into the keyboard and accidentally wrote the 4th Twilight book.
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06-21-2012 21:55 by BEGO
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My Mom + My Dad - Condom = Greatest Person Ever
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04-19-2012 20:59 by BEGO
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Dear parent constantly bragging about your kid on Facebook, everybody else is rooting for your kid to fail.
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05-29-2012 21:53 by BEGO
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If two people are happy together... you leave them the fu&k alone.
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07-25-2013 22:33 by BEGO
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