bego Funny Status Messages

   Guys, hear me out on this one.. A zombie outbreak could be prevented altogether if people were buried with their shoe laces tied together. Boom, you’re welcome.

   This bitc$ got a million dollar body and a food stamp face.

   God made men. But sandwiches weren't going to make themselves. So God made women.

   Skinny= Anorexic Thick= Obese. Virgin= Too good. Non-Virgin= Slut. Friendly= Fake. Quiet= Rude. It seems like you can never please society

   Ghost hunters: "Can you communicate with us?" *Door creeks* Ghost hunters: "Oh so your name is William?"

   Aren't we suppost to catch Kony this year or was that cancelled?

   When I think of all the money I’ve spent on booze in my life, I wish I had it all back. Imagine all the booze I could buy!

   5 Stages of Life: 1. Just a kid. 2. Don’t want to be a kid. 3. Afraid you’re still a kid. 4. Definitely not a kid. 5. Wish you were a kid.

   Hey Reality, I've a extremely large list of people you've forgot to slap!

   wow I love how your face is 5 shades darker than your neck

   Love can be such a beautiful torture...

   tHInks pEOPle WHo TyPE LikE thiS aRe retARDed.

   I wish relationships were Mon-Fri, 9-5 that way id have my nights and weekends free

   My girlfriend started to plan our wedding. We've been going out for 3 days.

   Instead of telling everybody what color is your damn bra, put 2 bucks in the freaking can at the shopping center if you really want to help people with breast cancer, for Christ's sake!! Stop talking on facebook and give money!

   I'm pretty sure God created only 6 days, Monday was definitely made by Satan.

   IKE if you love that feeling when you finally take your shoes off at the end of the day.

   Men are like coolers. Load them up with beer and you can take them anywhere.

   I've got five fingers. the middle is yours.

   Do you like me? Breathe for yes, lick your elbow for no.