bego Funny Status Messages
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Let us all take a moment, and be thankful that spiders can't fly.
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07-01-2012 22:59 by BEGO
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Listen, I'm not fat ok, I'm just so sexy that it overflows.
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05-29-2012 21:48 by BEGO
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I'm not addicted to Facebook. I only time I update my status is when I have time: lunch time, break time, off time, this time, that time, any time, all the time
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11-18-2011 21:31 by BEGO
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I just put on a jacket I last wore at a wedding in 2002. And found Nokia 3210 in the pocket. It still has 2 bars of battery left.
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02-18-2015 21:12 by BEGO
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Every time I fart in my office, it's always 2 seconds before someone decides to walk in.
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08-25-2012 22:58 by BEGO
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My iPhone just auto-corrected "f?ck you" to "whatever you say honey
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10-13-2012 23:29 by BEGO
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Exit Facebook, close laptop, get into bed, look at phone, check Facebook…
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12-16-2011 15:05 by BEGO
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I ran into my ex the other day. I could have sworn the light was green.
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10-02-2013 23:01 by BEGO
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Boys, if you don't look like Calvin Klein models, don't expect us to look like Victoria's Secret Angels.
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08-29-2012 22:31 by BEGO
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A relationship should be between (^__^) & (^__^) NOT (^__^) & (^__^) + (-_(-_(-_-)_-)_-) + FACEBOOK
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01-02-2012 16:46 by BEGO
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Harry Potter brand condoms: Protect your Slytherin from Hogwarts while you're in her chamber of secrets.
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05-10-2012 21:09 by BEGO
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Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener.
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02-04-2012 00:09 by BEGO
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You unfriended me? Wow, you sure taught me a lesson.
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09-17-2012 21:06 by BEGO
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Facebook needs a "Meh" button.
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06-14-2012 22:10 by BEGO
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If your relationship status says, " It's complicated" then you're single!!!!!!
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04-18-2012 21:09 by BEGO
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LIKE if you're still stuck at the Kid's table.
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11-22-2012 21:34 by BEGO
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i gotta carry my phone around with me 24/7 just in case nobody texts me
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12-11-2012 21:43 by BEGO
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Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you "Yeah.. So is a grenade.?
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08-29-2012 22:23 by BEGO
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Women, when it comes to doggy style, men are behind you 100%
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03-22-2013 21:08 by BEGO
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My doctor told me to watch my drinking. So I’m off to find a bar with a mirror.
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03-22-2013 21:10 by BEGO
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