Bego Funny Status Messages

   Let us all take a moment, and be thankful that spiders can't fly.

   Listen, I'm not fat ok, I'm just so sexy that it overflows.

   I'm not addicted to Facebook. I only time I update my status is when I have time: lunch time, break time, off time, this time, that time, any time, all the time

   I just put on a jacket I last wore at a wedding in 2002. And found Nokia 3210 in the pocket. It still has 2 bars of battery left.

   Every time I fart in my office, it's always 2 seconds before someone decides to walk in.

   My iPhone just auto-corrected "f?ck you" to "whatever you say honey

   I ran into my ex the other day. I could have sworn the light was green.

   Exit Facebook, close laptop, get into bed, look at phone, check Facebook…  

   Boys, if you don't look like Calvin Klein models, don't expect us to look like Victoria's Secret Angels.

   You unfriended me? Wow, you sure taught me a lesson.

   A relationship should be between (^__^) & (^__^) NOT (^__^) & (^__^) + (-_(-_(-_-)_-)_-) + FACEBOOK

   Harry Potter brand condoms: Protect your Slytherin from Hogwarts while you're in her chamber of secrets.

   Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener.

   Facebook needs a "Meh" button.

   If your relationship status says, " It's complicated" then you're single!!!!!!

   LIKE if you're still stuck at the Kid's table.

   i gotta carry my phone around with me 24/7 just in case nobody texts me

   Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you "Yeah.. So is a grenade.?

   Women, when it comes to doggy style, men are behind you 100%

   My doctor told me to watch my drinking. So I’m off to find a bar with a mirror.