bego Funny Status Messages

   I thought about going outside and doing something today but my Wi-Fi really doesn't reach very far.

   Dear Yahoo, I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying.Sincerely, Google.

   My mother taught me about RECEIVING. “You are going to get it when you get home!”

   Just when you finally get to that moment you've been waiting for all your life, somebody yells "Time's up!"

   I was gonna give my change to a homeless guy today, but his sign said "ONE DAY IT COULD BE YOU." I held onto it, just in case he was right.

   It's only a matter of time until Facebook adds “friend-zoned” as a relationship status.

   My bank account is more like a countdown to my homelessness.

   People who make me do a slight jog because they hold the door open for me when I'm 15 feet away are the first to die when I become God.

   A woman should know how to look like a girl, how to act like a lady, how to think like a man." :)

   How to murder someone: tell them you love them so much, and then go on to forget about their existence.

   It’s almost August and I’ve accomplished nothing.

   Ever want to click on someone’s Facebook status and fix all the spelling and grammatical errors for them?

   A relationship without trust is like having a phone with no service. And what do you do with a phone with no service? You play damn games.

   Immature: A word used by boring people to describe fun people.

   LIKE if you reply ”LMFAO” ”ROFL” “LOL” and you're clearly just sitting there emotionless as a robot.

   The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman's heart

   Call my girlfriend.. Call my girlfrien.. Call oy girly.. Call of gurty.. Call of duty.

   You remind me of my Chinese friend.. Ug Lee

   Hey MARIO..!! Remember me??? I wasted my CHILDHOOD saving your girlfriend

   I tried being normal once. Worst two minutes of my life..