BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Just when you think you've heard it all, someone comes up with a brand new damn lie.

   ‎5 Words for us MAN to live by, "NEVER MAKE A WOMAN ANGRY."

   I wish that some people would realize that talking isn't necessary.

   It’s funny how the people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.

   The easiest way to distract a woman is to show her a picture of herself.

   I smile politely when someone bumps into me while texting on their phone because I respect their right to ignore the world.

   ah, Friday! My second favorite "F" word!

   Monday is the strongest day of all the weekdays, even though it is cursed by every other person in this world, it still exists

   I believe in karma that means I can do bad things to people I don't like and assume they deserved it.

   Drama = Dumb Retard Asking for More Attention

   When the creator of photoshop dies.. All you girls gone go back to being UGLY..

   When your dreaming with a broken heart, waking up is the hardest part.

   girls are afraid to hear the words "its over" from her guy. And you know what guys are afraid to hear?"I'm PREGNANT!!!"

   You have "Swag"? I bet that looks great on your McDonald's application.

   I'm think that this Halloween I'm going to scare everyone I know by texting them “We need to talk.”

   i've lived through 1/1/1, 2/2/2, 3/3/3, 4/4/4, 5/5/5, 6/6/6, 7/7/7, 8/8/8, 9/9/9, 10/10/10, 11/11/11, and tomorrow is 12/12/12. I'm cool

   To the woman with 4 screaming kids at Target : if you're wondering how that box of condoms got into your cart... You're welcome.

   I'd tell you to go to hell, but I damn work there, and wouldn't want to see you everyday.

   After the age of 35, people start losing 7,000 brain cells a day. That number is tripled if they have a Facebook account.

   Don't text me while I'm in the middle of texting you, now I have to change my whole message.