Exercise Funny Status Messages

   I have nothing against exercise. I just wish people would care as much about exercising their minds as much as the do their bodies.

   opening a gym called Resolutions in January. It has exercise equipment for the first 2 weeks of each year, then becomes a bar for the remaining 50

   Okay ladies, exercise your suck muscle ladies, it's Friday Night!

   Sometimes I like to challenge myself AnD exercise at the same time.... Today I made it an extra five minutes just by squirming around and wiggling my foot before I had to run for the bathroom........

   I'm on the "I love food more than I love exercise but I love naps more than I love food" diet.

   All those exercise videos are worthless, I watch them over and over and not even lost a Kg

   Sean Spicer told me that my poor eating habits and lack of exercise only play a limited role in my weight gain.

   Good thing Obama cancelled the joint military exercise with Egypt next month. I'm sure that will teach the Egyptian army a lesson!

   Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left now turn it to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.

   If I ever say, "Don't do anything I wouldn't do." I'm talking about eating healthy food or doing exercise and sh*t.

   a tip to reduce weight, first turn your head to the left and then turn it to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.

   My favorite exercise after a heavy meal is regret.

   The best part about diet and exercise plans is the research phase. Which is why I stop there

   What to exercise today? Spots hottie in shorts. Gets on random machine nearby. Carefully follows her around gym.

   told my wife that the doctor put me on a new exercise program that requires me to walk 3 miles a day, she said good next week you'll be 21 miles away...

   I want to go to prison....I hear the exercise program there is AWESOME!!!

   Everyone's always competing for the best weight loss plan, I got it right here: Turn your head to the left and then turn it to the right. Repeat exercise when offered something to eat. #legit

   I want to lose weight but I don't want to get caught up in one of those Diet and Exercise scams.

   . I'm going to start an exercise class that mixes religion into the experience. I'll call it...Pontius Pilates. (insert Dr. Evil pinky in corner of mouth move here)

   If exercise eliminates excess fat how come some people have double chins?