huck Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I'm a revengetarian. Yeah, strictly vengeance-based diet. It's a lot of waiting around for livestock to be jerks to me
←Rate | 03-25-2014 05:54 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon The tv remote fell under the bed so I guess it’s TBS, on an uncomfortably high volume, for the next 5 years
←Rate | 03-24-2014 05:20 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon FACT:There is no angry way to say ‘bubbles.’
←Rate | 03-19-2014 05:36 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon What is it about a car that makes people think we can’t see them pick their nose?
←Rate | 03-18-2014 05:18 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear iTunes and Adobe, Would it not be more time efficient to just tell us when you are NOT updating?
←Rate | 03-17-2014 06:54 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Amazon’s recommendations are like that friend who heard you say “ninja” once and then got you ninja stuff for your birthday every year for twenty years
←Rate | 03-11-2014 05:25 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Daylight Savings is a German idea, circa 1895. I guess the world figured, "None of Germany's other Ideas has turned out bad, so why not?"
←Rate | 03-10-2014 05:39 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say you will eat around 23 spiders in your life, but really you can eat as many as you want. Treat yourself, you deserve it.
←Rate | 03-09-2014 07:30 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon When someone is murdered, they always investigate the spouse 1st. And that pretty much tells you everything you need to know about marriage.
←Rate | 03-06-2014 05:21 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you tell a lie, think of it as peeing in the pool. Let it out slow. Don’t let facial expressions give you away.
←Rate | 03-06-2014 05:16 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon When Life gives you lemons, consider purchasing a different cereal.
←Rate | 03-04-2014 00:16 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let's start a charity where we give cats to people who say goodnight to social networking sites.
←Rate | 02-28-2014 05:35 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Keep calm and massively overuse a slogan
←Rate | 02-27-2014 05:26 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet at least half the guys who get struck by lightning's last thoughts were, "Holy Crap, am I a Highlander?"
←Rate | 02-25-2014 09:58 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a girl is really beautiful I end up complimenting her like I’m 5. You’re pretty. I like your hair. Neat shoes. Are you a princess? Hi.
←Rate | 02-21-2014 05:15 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet the most common dying wish is to live longer
←Rate | 02-18-2014 07:29 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it "romantic" when Aladdin sings A Whole New World while flying on a carpet but "pathetic" when I sing it while laying on a bath mat?
←Rate | 02-18-2014 07:25 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are 15 year olds skating in the Olympics and I can’t even walk down my driveway in winter
←Rate | 02-17-2014 05:24 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon What I like about you: the way you hold me tight, you know how to dance, you come over at night. Everything else about you repulses me.
←Rate | 02-15-2014 21:42 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Few things in life are more pleasurable than turning off the lights in a public bathroom while people are still inside
←Rate | 02-14-2014 05:02 by Huck Comments (0)  


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