Kisstopher Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Just watched a girl choke on her food and this can only mean one thing, she forgot to take a picture of it first and post it on her FB wall.
←Rate | 12-21-2012 08:30 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best part about working from home is the alcohol.
←Rate | 12-21-2012 08:12 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Male lions fight to impress the females. Bears do it, crocodiles do it and even men do it. Moral of the story: Females get you killed!!
←Rate | 12-20-2012 09:21 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you listen closely to your body while working out, you can hear the calories singing "Just gonna stand there and watch me burn".
←Rate | 12-19-2012 12:57 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have spent almost half of my life trying to come up with new ways to get out of things and situations.
←Rate | 12-16-2012 08:35 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happiness; you have to chase it around, but misery that b itch waits for us around every corner.
←Rate | 12-16-2012 00:50 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a man aspires towards a righteous life, his first act of abstinence is from being a douchebag.
←Rate | 12-16-2012 00:46 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I already hate next year.
←Rate | 12-13-2012 13:06 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Men. When a woman says she doesn't want to talk about it, you'd better shut up, grab a chair and get ready to listen…for hours.
←Rate | 12-12-2012 13:53 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you've never lost your significant other, you've failed as a sock.
←Rate | 12-09-2012 13:55 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Woke up again today. When will it stop?
←Rate | 12-09-2012 13:27 by Kisstopher Comments (1)  


   messageicon People hate the truth. Luckily, the truth doesn't care.
←Rate | 12-06-2012 01:09 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Writing your girl a love poem is a little less special when she helps you spell some of the words.
←Rate | 12-02-2012 09:56 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon A butterfly just landed on the tip of my cigarette and exploded. What in the hell do they put in butterflies?
←Rate | 12-02-2012 09:54 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife just cleaned out her purse. So, she'll be having a garage sale later this week.
←Rate | 11-17-2012 14:51 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Last night I sprayed under my kitchen sink for roaches with this cheap Chinese-made insect killer. Not only did it leave them alive, they kept me up all night talking.
←Rate | 11-17-2012 14:43 by Kisstopher Comments (1)  


   messageicon If these walls could talk, there would just be one more thing in this house that doesn't answer me when I speak.
←Rate | 11-16-2012 07:43 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every guy has a soft sensitive side. It's called “I need to get laid and I'll say and do anything to make it happen”
←Rate | 11-16-2012 07:37 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon If it doesn't add value, subtract that shi t.
←Rate | 11-16-2012 01:32 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies, no one wants to motorboat your rib cage. Eat a sandwich.
←Rate | 11-15-2012 12:13 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  




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