jdpower Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Somewhere in America, a guy at a CVS wisely and at the last minute, puts back the loofah
←Rate | 03-29-2011 21:10 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trump wants Obama to show his birth certificate.. In other news, Trump is still trying to find all his marriage certificates.
←Rate | 03-29-2011 21:14 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Experts say the snake that escaped from the Bronx Zoo may be seeking its natural habitat ..and is heading for Wall St.
←Rate | 03-29-2011 21:15 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon There was a piece of cake in the fridge with a 'Don't eat me' note on it. Now there's an empty plate with a 'I don't take orders from cake' note on it.
←Rate | 03-29-2011 21:18 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Snooki hates the nickname "Snooki" and wants to go back to using her real name, "Dwayne Johnson"
←Rate | 03-31-2011 23:18 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon If my blood alcohol was Butler's shooting percentage, I could legally drive.
←Rate | 04-05-2011 00:31 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't call me lazy unless you've walked a mile in my slippers
←Rate | 05-11-2011 22:20 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I were a Jedi, I'd have long frizzy hair, red leather pants, and lots of attitude.. and I'd go by Obi-wan Bon Jovi.
←Rate | 05-11-2011 22:22 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon I blame Survivor for my inability to put out a tiki torch without saying, "the tribe has spoken."
←Rate | 05-17-2011 00:13 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon You guys, hear, about these, rogue commas, going around?
←Rate | 05-18-2011 20:10 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Thor" is the #1 movie -- proving there's nothing Americans love watching more than an immigrant who's good with a hammer.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 20:35 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wow, Paul McCartney got married again?! Really seems like this relationship has legs.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 20:37 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon They should have captured Bin Laden alive and made him continually go through airport security for the rest of his life.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 20:40 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm putting together a crew for the Rapture, Just booked 4 Penske trucks for Sunday. I'm still in need of 2 drivers and 8 laborers. Meet me at the Wal-Mart parking lot at 6:00 AM Saturday, a BBQ will follow
←Rate | 05-18-2011 22:29 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think I'd probably just pay for a Klondike bar.
←Rate | 05-19-2011 02:56 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Guys Named "Rhys" --Please tell us how it's pronounced already, or prepare to be known as "Buddy"
←Rate | 05-19-2011 03:00 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Brooklyn Decker is either an ungodly hot supermodel, or a delicious, multi-tiered sandwich. You can't lose with a Brooklyn Decker.
←Rate | 05-19-2011 03:04 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Game, set, match equals tennis. Set, match, run equals arson.
←Rate | 05-31-2011 14:21 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon These kids today need to show a little respect to those of us who fought for, and won the right to party.
←Rate | 06-07-2011 20:24 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just asked a guy at the Mac Store if the iPhone 5 will come with an app that makes AT&T not suck.
←Rate | 06-15-2011 21:34 by jdpower Comments (0)  




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