huck Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon "Where is it? Oh there it is. Where'd it go? I can't see it. Is that the puck? Oh there it is...wait, lost it again." - me, watching hockey
←Rate | 06-09-2013 06:27 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon the best way to understand paranoid people is to follow them around.
←Rate | 06-22-2013 07:38 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I order delivery online and there's a "Notes" box I put "Ring bell, Cross moat, SLAY DRAGON"
←Rate | 07-01-2013 06:36 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you live to be 100, you should make up some fake reason why, just to mess with people... Like you ate a pinecone every single d
←Rate | 07-03-2013 07:58 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hey people still doing fireworks. My dog hates you.
←Rate | 07-07-2013 15:53 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Pew pew pew! Pew pew!" - excitable church architect.
←Rate | 07-09-2013 12:20 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just saw a guy with a hook hand and a ponytail. Dude, you cut off the wrong thing.
←Rate | 07-17-2013 12:20 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon I have an electric stove, but I prefer acoustic.
←Rate | 07-20-2013 08:41 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon People who wish they had a nickel for every time such-and-such happened should raise their prices a little.
←Rate | 07-23-2013 15:28 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm sure someday I will go to a Chinese restaurant and be mature and able to resist doing Chopstick Walrus, but today is not that day.
←Rate | 07-29-2013 07:41 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I ever post a joke that you don't like take comfort in the fact that I was clearly for one moment hacked
←Rate | 07-29-2013 07:46 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Its awkward touching hands with another man in a popcorn bag, especially if you don't know the man & he doesn't know you're eating his popcorn
←Rate | 08-02-2013 06:03 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Cops don't like it when they tell you to put your hands up in the air then you wave them like you just don't care.
←Rate | 08-12-2013 08:06 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Covers on, too hot. Covers off, too cold. One foot out would prolly be ok, but I don't wanna be dragged from bed paranormal activity style.
←Rate | 08-12-2013 08:28 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon I get my: Cereal from a tiger, Insurance from a gecko, Toilet paper from a bear, Financial advice from a gorilla. It's people I don't trust.
←Rate | 08-20-2013 15:43 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon My sister is going to a theme park tomorrow. I told her to have fun. Frightening to think what could've happened had I not shared that tip
←Rate | 08-21-2013 13:03 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon "I have your test results," said the doctor. "There's no easy way to tell you this; you are cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs."
←Rate | 08-21-2013 13:22 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon When people tell me "You're gonna regret that in the morning" I sleep in til noon, because I'm a problem Solver
←Rate | 08-22-2013 05:36 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm making money in my spare time by working.
←Rate | 08-24-2013 05:57 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon After opening this month's electric bill, I am no longer scared of the dark.
←Rate | 08-27-2013 11:22 by huck Comments (0)  

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