Lemonpillow Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
←Rate | 12-27-2009 18:12 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
←Rate | 12-27-2009 20:22 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is too complicated in the morning.
←Rate | 12-28-2009 10:11 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now that food has replaced sex,I can't even get into my own pants.
←Rate | 12-28-2009 15:30 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon The National Eczema Association are currently fundraising. They've just launched a scratch card.
←Rate | 12-29-2009 17:16 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon HDTV: where the channels are still crap..but a much clearer and colorful crap.
←Rate | 12-30-2009 14:49 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late and see the New Years in. Middle age is when you're forced to.
←Rate | 12-30-2009 16:37 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon May your troubles last as long as your New Years Resolutions!
←Rate | 12-30-2009 19:52 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon ..New Year's Resolution: Drink More. Fall Down Less. She'll put that to the test tonight.
←Rate | 12-31-2009 11:32 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I Wish 2010 Brings You 12 Months of Happiness,52 Weeks of Fun,365 Days of Success,8760 Hours of Good Health, 52600 Minutes of Good Luck and 3153600 Seconds of Joy!
←Rate | 01-01-2010 03:38 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon A man's New Year's resolution of no sex, no beer,no football,no nights out with the guys and no porn started today. He just got married..
←Rate | 01-01-2010 08:33 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon ..if people say they're "as honest as the day is long" does that mean they become less truthful in the winter?
←Rate | 01-02-2010 12:18 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon ...thinks the "vamps" in Twilight and New Moon look like a cross between The Cure & NSYNC..ooohh..such shiny white fangs too!
←Rate | 01-02-2010 12:52 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I put on my favorite winter jacket for the first time the other day, and as soon as I put my hands in those pockets, I was immediately reminded that last year I didn't have any money, either.
←Rate | 01-03-2010 13:31 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon ..wonders what the best thing was BEFORE slice bread came along.
←Rate | 01-03-2010 20:46 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon ..it's so cold that Britney Spears made sure she was wearing underwear before she went out.
←Rate | 01-04-2010 12:09 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon ...its -4 out and snow is on it's way tomorrow...so much for this global warming they talk about...although they'll probably blame the cold on the hole in the ozone layer or cow farts...
←Rate | 01-04-2010 14:50 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon ..is tired of waking up to his antics so she set a trap last night..Jack Frost won't be nipping any noses now for a LONG time..
←Rate | 01-05-2010 03:34 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon ..i thought it was sweet of my boss to gather us all together and warn us of the massive amounts of snow expected overnight and to drive carefully... then also warn us to "show up to work tomorrow or else". Aww they really DO care!
←Rate | 01-05-2010 10:44 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Last week I sent my friend a pile of snow. I called her today and asked "Did you get my drift?"
←Rate | 01-05-2010 17:23 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  




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