Dylan Bosch Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon The next time you're in Walmart, hide in a clothes rack and when someone is looking through the clothes come out and say "WELCOME TO NARNIA" :)
←Rate | 05-11-2011 23:27 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you're parents accuse you of lying to them, just look them in the eye and say; SANTA CLAUSE! EASTER BUNNY! TOOTH FAIRY!"
←Rate | 05-11-2011 23:31 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon decided that I am not an alcoholic...I am an extreme social partier with a drinking habit...I say habit because a problem is something you want to fix!"
←Rate | 05-12-2011 11:59 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon I gotta get outta this funk, I've somehow lost my spunk. I'm not cheery, or happy, and I hate feeling crappy. Perhaps I should just get drunk!"
←Rate | 05-12-2011 12:05 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know you drank too much last night when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator."
←Rate | 05-12-2011 12:07 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everytime I drink I break my "No" button. Yes, I want another drink. Yes, you can take me home. Yes, I'm sure I can drive. Yes, I will dance on the bar."
←Rate | 05-12-2011 12:11 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Somewhere, right now.. One of my Facebook friends is already drunk!"
←Rate | 05-12-2011 12:14 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's hard to be naked and baked without wondering why the two words don't rhyme."
←Rate | 05-12-2011 13:11 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon absof*ckinloutely, posif*ckintively, irrif*ckingtated!!!!"
←Rate | 05-12-2011 13:31 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some 12 year old called my house at 2:45 this morning to ask if I ordered Indian food. I said, "Are you serious? I ordered that 8 hours ago!" He stuttered, apologized, and hung up! Prank Call Reversal!
←Rate | 05-13-2011 11:25 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bleah and Latex Gloves: $10.. Plastic wrap, trash bags and duct tape: $20...Chainsaw: $200 The horrified look on the cashiers face: PRICELESS!"
←Rate | 05-13-2011 11:30 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon I remember when I was younger "Friday the 13th" used to make me think about Jason movies. Now all I can think about is "Do the bars have any specials today?"
←Rate | 05-13-2011 11:42 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon During a particularly rough storm the other night, local weatherman advised getting into your bathtub, covering yourself with a heavy blanket and wearing a bicycle helmet. I am ONLY watching that channel's news from now on..."
←Rate | 06-07-2011 11:31 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon My dad once told me that, by definition, a leader is someone who has followers, and the more followers, the greater the leader. I think that was true right up until the advent of Twitter."
←Rate | 06-07-2011 11:32 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to these people? Why don't they put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while delivering the mail?"
←Rate | 06-07-2011 11:35 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear CocaCola, McDonalds, and other massive companies, unless you have a new product for me, stop showing me commercials. I didn't forget about you. I have never stood at a vending machine and thought, what's that thing in the red can? I promise."
←Rate | 07-01-2011 11:06 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm watching a special on how William wooed Kate with his cooking skills. Good for him. If I was in his position, my wooing program would only consist of . . . you know I'm going to be king someday."
←Rate | 07-01-2011 11:09 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon that Smurfs movie looks stupid. I just want to see it, just to see how stupid it is."
←Rate | 07-01-2011 15:30 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why won't the bank give me my cash in bags with dollar signs on them?.. That'd be cool."
←Rate | 07-07-2011 13:33 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon the New Facebook Chat! You have friends Online.. But you have to guess who more then half of them are!"
←Rate | 07-18-2011 21:23 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


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