Exercise Funny Status Messages

   my New Year's resolution is to exercise (my right to be lazy)

   I have a very rigid exercise routine, involving daily jogs to the fridge to see what I have to eat.

   I was told that exercise helps with your decision making. Well, it’s true. After going to the gym this morning, I’ve decided I’m never going again.

   As a Fat bottomed girl, I'm not sure how we're expected to make the Rockin' world go round. That sounds *way* too much like exercise to me

   I bet other insects hate it when they ask a caterpillar how she became a butterfly, and she's all, "Just diet and exercise, guys!"

   trainer at gym: do you exercise outside of here? me remembering it was windy in the parking lot: some resistance training

   If youre going to give your kid a name like hes an 80s action hero, then make sure he goes outside every once and a while. Cause "Maverick" looks like the only exercise he gets it walking to the fridge and back to the Playstation.

   "If playing golf is exercise, then why aren't there driving ranges in health clubs?

   The lockdown has made workout guru Richard Simmons popular again. It's like taking exercise advice from a marshmallow.

   I want to lose weight but I don’t want to get caught up in one of those eat right and exercise scams

   I’d exercise more often if running didn’t spill the whiskey in my glass.

   It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

   If I wake up at 4:30, I’ll have 2 uninterrupted hours to exercise, clean and make a healthy breakfast. *sets alarm for 6:30*

   Me: I am surprised at how winded I am by this exercise!! Personal Trainer: This was the tour of the gym.

   If you don’t know the right way to bend your knees and lower yourself for exercise purposes then you don’t know squat.

   The kids complained that I was making them run laps around the house for exercise, so now they’re running laps with a vacuum cleaner.

   Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a Pyramid Scheme to me.

   I want to lose weight, but I don`t want to get caught up in one of those "Eat right and exercise" scams.

   I want to lose weight but I don't want to get caught up in one of those Diet and Exercise scams.

   Some of my friends exercise every day. Meanwhile, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell in the floor.