jdpower Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Saw the Goodyear blimp today. It read "ICE CUBE NO LONGER EVEN REMOTELY A PIMP".
←Rate | 06-21-2011 01:44 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sarah Palin thinks US law should be based on the Bible. As the most attractive female in national politics, I think she'd be far more successful doing an arm-in-arm political fashion tour with the most attractive man in Washington, Ann Coulter.
←Rate | 05-21-2010 02:22 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Inventor of Segway drives it off cliff to his death. Bet he wishes he would have invented a hang glider.
←Rate | 09-27-2010 15:30 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gavin Rossdale has admitted to a gay fling when he was younger.. In a related story, a gay dude admitted to making sh!tty music for 15 years.
←Rate | 10-14-2010 01:07 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just tricked a vegan into reading "Chicken Soup for the Soul"
←Rate | 12-04-2010 13:20 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‎"Oh my god, they have Rolling Rock??!!" - said by maybe 2 or 3 people a year.
←Rate | 01-05-2011 20:49 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon When is that 1/2 man on '2 and and 1/2 Men' going to officially become a man?
←Rate | 05-21-2010 01:58 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon In honor of Christine O'Donnell, I am designating November as Lack of Awareness Awareness Month.
←Rate | 10-21-2010 23:32 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon A new study says humans are psychic, and I'm living proof of it. For example, I can clearly foresee a future where this study is debunked.
←Rate | 11-29-2010 21:27 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Seriously, why is Lindsay Lohan's 4th drug test fail helicopter-worthy? At this point the press should be sending scooters.
←Rate | 09-27-2010 15:34 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon That didn't take long: one of the Chilean miners is already cheating on Jennifer Aniston.
←Rate | 10-18-2010 14:38 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Russians have grossly misunderstood roulette. Someone needs to tell them it's gambling on numbers, not maybe killing yourself.
←Rate | 11-15-2010 23:13 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
←Rate | 05-19-2010 00:37 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do NOT download the Mel Gibson app on your new iPhone. It attacks all your other apps, then implodes.
←Rate | 07-16-2010 13:01 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Many years ago, I was kicked out of the Beastie Boys for suggesting that partying was more of a privilege than a right.
←Rate | 09-14-2011 22:01 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon A "Sarah Palindrome" is a sentence that reads forwards, but sounds backwards.
←Rate | 07-21-2010 16:55 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm seriously reevaluating my MySpace Top 8
←Rate | 08-17-2010 13:28 by jdpower Comments (1)  


   messageicon Jersey Shore is on tonight? I guess I need to figure out how to get these Valtrex into my DirecTV box then.
←Rate | 08-05-2010 21:51 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Skipping the new Jackass movie - already saw Christine O'Donnell debate this week.
←Rate | 10-18-2010 14:40 by jdpower Comments (5)  


   messageicon During Obama's appearance on Mythbusters, Glenn Beck will debut his new Fox News show, Mythspreaders.
←Rate | 10-20-2010 10:50 by jdpower Comments (0)  




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