Sean Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'Sean': View All Messages
Page: 9 of 38

   messageicon I'm not just hungry...I'm Oprah hungry.....
←Rate | 05-31-2013 15:33 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon 3 things in this world scare me: 1. scorpions 2. jellyfish 3. streets named after civil rights leaders at night.
←Rate | 12-18-2012 16:28 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I might care about Twilight if Count Chocula was in it...
←Rate | 03-08-2013 10:02 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon We're probably missing out on a lot of good candy by stereotyping creepy people who have white vans with tinted windows who give free candy.
←Rate | 08-27-2012 11:42 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's so rude when people talk at the movies while you're on the phone!
←Rate | 01-09-2012 15:41 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the Balls to say: 'You're next, Chubby
←Rate | 02-10-2011 11:27 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I asked my wife what women really want and she said attentive lovers. Or maybe it was "a tent of lovers." I wasn't really listening.
←Rate | 05-06-2013 14:05 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing says 'I hope you choke on this and die' like the gift of a fruitcake
←Rate | 12-15-2011 09:22 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thought I was watching a commercial for Grand Theft Auto 5... Turns out I was watching CNN's reporting on Ferguson riots...
←Rate | 11-25-2014 11:49 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gambling addiction hotlines would do so much better if every fifth caller was a winner.
←Rate | 11-16-2012 11:38 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I could be an Olympics commentator because I'm good at pointing and saying, "You can tell she wants it."
←Rate | 02-19-2014 17:12 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon A coworker wouldn't stop bragging about her upcoming trip to Hawaii, so I emailed her a bunch of pictures of plane crashes.
←Rate | 09-27-2014 15:33 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon About a year ago I told my friend there’s plenty of fish in the sea. Last I heard he is still sitting there holding his rod.
←Rate | 07-08-2016 10:08 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Scavenger hunt time! Find a parent in Walmart who looks happy to be a parent.
←Rate | 09-06-2013 09:00 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon There was a spider in my bathtub so my wife got a tissue and very carefully burned the house down.
←Rate | 03-02-2012 10:27 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon No I don't have anything smaller than a twenty. You should. You're the one who's running a store.
←Rate | 07-11-2012 09:58 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Am I the only one who's ever seen a fat ugly lady at Walmart with 7 screaming kids...and think who keeps doing you!
←Rate | 11-11-2014 09:58 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like how none of the "robbers" on that Vonage commercial are black. Way to dodge that bullet, Vonage.
←Rate | 12-19-2011 11:57 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Offering a hobo $5 from across the street is my version of Frogger.
←Rate | 02-29-2012 10:52 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fortune cookies should have more useful information on them… like… never feed tacos to a child you're potty training.
←Rate | 01-30-2012 12:10 by SEAN Comments (0)  




[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left