BEGO Funny Status Messages

   If you’re camping and you have WiFi, you’re not camping.

   They should change the name of Thanksgiving to something more fitting like say, Turkeypocolypse

   Dear Coworkers, all I want for Christmas is you... to not talk to me before 9am.

   When I text you a massive paragraph and you reply 40 minutes later with 'K' Fu$k you

   R.I.P. To The B$tches Dying For Attention

   Why is it one you always wish for is out there somewhere...just waiting for the right time for you both to meet..and it will happen when you least expect it... :)

   Teenagers are the most misunderstood people on the planet. They're treated like children, and expected to act like adults.

   Girls want a guy who is "funny and spontaneous", but when I tap on a girls window at night dressed as a clown, she flips out!

   Instead of getting periods, can girls just get a text once a month from mother nature saying 'you're not pregnant have a nice day!'

   So, My girlfriend asked me if I loved Her,..No girl, I only think about you all day, text you whenever I can & Stare at you constently when i'm with you.

   For Sale: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. Never read because wife already knows everything.

   If you're absent during my struggle, don't expect to be present during my success.

   If you can read but still watch The Jersey Shore, please donate your unused literacy to someone who might use it.

   A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon.

   Seeing a loser from your high school w/ a good job is like graffiti on a highway bridge... how the Hell did that get there?

   Sleep + social life = Bad grades. Good grades + sleep = No social life. Good grades + social life = No sleep.

   Throwing ice at people who need to chill the fu@k out.

   Just got a booty call from life, apparently it still wants to keep fu$king me.

   Some smartphone you turned out to be. You should have known better than to let me call my damn Ex.

   I had a nightmare. I dreamt I was you.