bego Funny Status Messages

   Honey, why don't you take a break, you're working too hard." = "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.

   Dad: A bird told me you are doing drugs... Boy: You're talking with birds and I'm the one doing drugs?!

   Bi?ch I didn't text you to exercise my fingers, I want a damn reply

   If you have to ask someone “Didn't you get my text?” that person hates you.

   Life is harder for the beautiful people. I'm sorry you'll never know.

   Stay strong; the best things in life are worth fighting for.

   If you're on someone else's Facebook, the cruelest thing to do is probably to actually add the "people you may know."

   It's hard to trust someone who starts each sentence with "to be honest".

   I just took the garbage out. In 3D

   I love biting the ears and heads off chocolate Easter bunnies.

   Relationships are like math problems. Sometimes you have to take someone out of the equation, put someone else in, and......it's right!

   Too many faithful girls are single, and too many h&es are taken.

   One day you're the main suspect.....the next you're not even a person of interest.

   Facebook would be way cooler if it was on t.v. : “In other news Brian's ex-girlfriend is still a cold, heartless bi%ch. Details at 11″.

   Practice being nice, so that when you really need to be....it's not so hard.

   I came up with a stupid status today, but I forgot what it was.

   Men who don’t understand women fall into two categories: Bachelors and Husbands.

   Top ten things men understand about women. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.

   A life?! Where can I download one of those?

   Maybe Voldemort's face is flat because he ran into the wrong wall at the train station.