bego Funny Status Messages

   When black girls take off their earrings you know s$it just got real.

   "God has a sense of humor. Don't believe me?... go to Walmart and just look at people."

   Dear eyelashes, wish bones, dandelions, pennies in fountains, shooting stars, 11:11, and birthday candles. YOU FAILED.

   You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one damn night!"

   Relationship Killers : Insecurity, trust issues, Facebook, Twitter, jealousy, lack of communication, assumptions

   Didn’t have internet on my phone for the past few hours. Finally graduated, got married, lost some weight, read 17 books and showered.

   Best Relationship: Talk like best-friends, play like children, argue like husband and wife, protect each other like brother and sister.

   ■When you take an amazing picture you automatically think: “That will be my new profile picture”.

   It’s funny how 1 text, 1 song, 1 mistake, 1 lie, 1 truth, and 1 person could change your mood in 1 second.

   Hey single ladies, you want a boyfriend? Easy! Learn to shut up and dramatically lower your standards!

   ■The day Facebook adds a “Who cares?” button would be the best day ever.

   Be with the one who will get your panties wet not your eyes.

   Bi$ch please, I can wipe 90 percent of you're so called "BEAUTY" off with a freaking towel!

   Success is just like being Pregnant, everybody congratulates you, but nobody knows how many times you were f%@ked.

   If I was a judge in the Olympic Trampoline events, I'd give the Silver to the chick with the biggest boobs, Gold if she doesn't wear a bra.

   One time I put my phone in my pocket and didn’t take it out for like almost 5 minutes.

   1920: “May I have this dance?” 1950: “Want to go to the drive-in?” 1980: “What’s your sign?” 2014: “Here’s a picture of my dong.”

   Facebook is going to start making high school reunions really awkward. “John! I haven't seen you in ten years! Wow, what have you been up to since that nap you took at 3 o'clock this afternoon?”

   Can you imagine if Facebook just decided to shut down and you see all these confused teenagers coming out of their house squinting at the sun.

   8 planets, 1 universe, 204 countries, 809 islands, 7 seas and I just HAD to find yo dumbass.