bego Funny Status Messages

   Whenever I meetr somebody who has a kid, they have to show me a photo of their kid. But then when I show them a photo of me to show to their kid, I am weird.

   Did you know that the word "suns" upside down is still "suns"? Mind = BLOWN

   They say milk gives you strenght so I drank 5 glasses and still couldnt move a wall, I tried 13 shots of vodka and saw the wall move by itself.

   Whenever I have gum, I suddenly get a lot more friends.

   Never trust someone who takes hours to text you back but when you're with them they always have their phone in their hand texting.

   Did anyone ever consider Dr. Suess on some serious drugs when he wrote those books? A 6ft. Tall cat with a 2ft. Tall hat. I mean c'mon!

   people will damn believe anything if you whisper it.

   I hate it when teachers say, “You think it's funny?” Obviously it is, if it wasn't I wouldn't be laughing…

   In kindergarden they call them cooties. in high school we call them STDs...

   Treat your girl right, or another guy will

   Thanks to push-up bras and low cut shorts, I can now get to 2nd base w/ your girlfriend just by looking at her FB profile pic.

   I don't need to watch TNT for drama, I have Facebook.

   Facebook knows me better than anyone

   Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most?

   It’s funny how people get mad when you treat them the same way they treat you.

   Since Kanye wants to write a song named 'I Am God' I wanna see him bring his dead mother back to life again.

   People who don't like bacon cannot be trusted, end of story.

   In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is damn bacteria.

   B**ch please. Don't confuse hate with jealousy.

   I Think there is in every girl's life a boy she'll never forget and a summer where it all began.