BEGO Funny Status Messages

   One day, I hope to be the person my dog thinks I am.

   If you really cared you wouldn't ignore my text, neglect my feelings and forget my existence.

   Excuse me miss, you've got a little bit of face on your makeup there.

   I like girls with curves, if I wanted to see bones, I would go to the damn museum.

   That awesome moment when you flip your pillow over to the cold side.

   There's a new way to transfer funds that's even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.

   Married people always ask when you’re getting married like they get points for recruiting to their club of misery.

   Dear Kids, go to College…it’s the only time it’s acceptable to be drunk and poor.

   ❒ Single ❒ Taken ✔ I'm just ready for summer 2013.

   Damn.. who isn't pregnant...?

   I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone can handle a bad girl. It's the good girls men should be warned against.

   There’s “hell” in hello, “good” in goodbye, “lie” in believe, “over” in lover, “end” in friend, “ex” in “next”, & “if” in life.

   When two people are meant for each other, no time is too long, no distance is too far and no one can ever tear them apart.

   Snooki's pregnant...? Finding the father is gonna be harder than finding Waldo, but I bet Waldo fuck$d her too anyway.

   Found out today you're supposed to urinate on a jellyfish sting, not a jelly stain. Sorry lady at waffle house... just trying to help.

   Instructions on how to keep an idiot busy: Read instructions again.

   Never recycle a past relationship. Because if it didn't work out before, what makes you think it would this time?

   It's difficult to have a committed relationship with a schizophrenic. They're always seeing other people.

   Nobody on television curses more than the Roadrunner.

   I believe in Karma, Mainly because I can do bad things to people I don't like and assume they deserved it .