abbybaby34 Funny Status Messages

   I'd really like to find the person that named the sensitive part of your elbow the "Funny Bone" and punch them in the face. See how funny they think that is.

   Just went to the kitchen for water and came back up without it. Now I have to go back to the kitchen.

   I'm thinking about going out tonight, because the Beastie Boys fought and nearly died for my right to party...

   U have 10 fish, 5 drown, 3 come back to life. How many fish do you have? Stop counting smart one Fish cant Drown.

   Insurance costs are so outrageous the only healthcare most Americans can afford is from Dr. Pepper.

   We should have a way of telling people their breath stinks without hurting their feelings like, for example: "I'm bored, lets go brush your teeth!"

   Whose idea was it to "be an adult?"

   I'll have a coke please . Hhmmm is Pepsi ok ? Hhmm how about no ! Is monopoly money ok ?

   Sometimes I think NASA is making shit up just to see if anyone's listening.

   “Even in a happy relationship, it's seems to be possible to have a wandering eye or even crave affection from another person.

   I just googled 2013 and it said the new Batman movie comes out SO TAKE THAT MAYANS.

   I have so little game I'm not even allowed to play miniature golf.

   Calling all my ex girlfriends today to tell them I have herpes. I don't really have it, I just don't want any of them to sleep with other people.

   No facebook, I wanna know what's on your mind!

   Cutting education funding to help the economy is like planting chicken eggs rather than feeding the hen.

   Love...it takes hostages and shows zero remorse.

   If I were you, I'd get a red nose and some big shoes and call it a day.

   This vodka diet is freaking awesome, I've already lost 3 days.

   Mother Nature can be cruel sometimes. If I ever meet her I'm gonna snatch her purse. Old B*tch

   just rescued some wine.. it was trapped in a bottle. I saved the day!