Hiyourjon Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon i'm giving up dryer sheets for lint
←Rate | 06-17-2013 23:03 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon When life gives you melons you have dyslexia
←Rate | 10-02-2013 18:03 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sure, I'll attend your expensive pre-divorce ceremony
←Rate | 05-01-2013 21:19 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thesaurus .cōm is down which is inconvenient and also inconvenient.
←Rate | 06-05-2013 21:07 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon a police uniform is just another gang color
←Rate | 06-13-2013 14:24 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm only here for the alibi.
←Rate | 08-15-2013 18:44 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon The fact that the voice in my head yells whenever I read something thats in all capital letter kinda DISTURBS ME.
←Rate | 05-10-2012 15:52 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Boss: You drunk? Me: No I'm totally "sober" Him: Did you do air quotes when you said sober? Me: What? No. Look, I need to get back to "work"
←Rate | 05-14-2012 21:46 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I put the "semen" in "amusement park". And that is why I am no longer welcome at Six Flags.
←Rate | 05-07-2013 01:43 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies. Want to know if you're pretty? If a male cop has ever given you a ticket, then no, you're not.
←Rate | 05-01-2012 19:41 by Hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who over exaggerate literally make me want to shoot myself in the face 287 billion times.
←Rate | 05-15-2012 23:56 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fun Fact: the seven letters of "rainbow" stand for the different colors! Red, arange, iellow, neen, blue, ondigo, and wiolet. I'm drunk.
←Rate | 05-22-2012 00:22 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Last night I watched a TV show about burritos spinning in a circle for 2 hours before I realized I was really high & staring at my microwave
←Rate | 07-21-2012 11:48 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Next time your at your friends house steal his remote control. Every so often drive by his house and change the channell on his TV.
←Rate | 05-09-2013 20:52 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon "good goin' there einstein" "yeah way to go, einstein!" "nice move, einstein!" - the Einstein family reunion annual softball game
←Rate | 05-23-2013 15:56 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's Saturday night, which means I am higher than the national debt.
←Rate | 11-23-2013 22:06 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just saw the trailer for "Noah." I hear The Book is better.
←Rate | 02-22-2014 13:30 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Mexican waiter put my food down in front of another white man who looked nothing like me. So I totally get it now. Oh wait that's not my waiter.
←Rate | 01-03-2014 15:40 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why the hell is a group of Kangaroos NOT called a Kangacrew?
←Rate | 01-08-2014 11:39 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every day is free Slurpee day if you own a shotgun.
←Rate | 07-11-2013 12:37 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  




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