Hiyourjon Funny Status Messages
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i'm giving up dryer sheets for lint
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06-17-2013 23:03 by hiyourjon
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When life gives you melons you have dyslexia
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10-02-2013 18:03 by HiYourJon
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Sure, I'll attend your expensive pre-divorce ceremony
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05-01-2013 21:19 by HiYourJon
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Thesaurus .cōm is down which is inconvenient and also inconvenient.
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06-05-2013 21:07 by hiyourjon
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a police uniform is just another gang color
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06-13-2013 14:24 by hiyourjon
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I'm only here for the alibi.
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08-15-2013 18:44 by HiYourJon
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The fact that the voice in my head yells whenever I read something thats in all capital letter kinda DISTURBS ME.
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05-10-2012 15:52 by HiYourJon
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Boss: You drunk? Me: No I'm totally "sober" Him: Did you do air quotes when you said sober? Me: What? No. Look, I need to get back to "work"
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05-14-2012 21:46 by HiYourJon
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I put the "semen" in "amusement park". And that is why I am no longer welcome at Six Flags.
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05-07-2013 01:43 by HiYourJon
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Ladies. Want to know if you're pretty? If a male cop has ever given you a ticket, then no, you're not.
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05-01-2012 19:41 by Hiyourjon
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People who over exaggerate literally make me want to shoot myself in the face 287 billion times.
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05-15-2012 23:56 by HiYourJon
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Fun Fact: the seven letters of "rainbow" stand for the different colors! Red, arange, iellow, neen, blue, ondigo, and wiolet. I'm drunk.
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05-22-2012 00:22 by HiYourJon
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Last night I watched a TV show about burritos spinning in a circle for 2 hours before I realized I was really high & staring at my microwave
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07-21-2012 11:48 by HiYourJon
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Next time your at your friends house steal his remote control. Every so often drive by his house and change the channell on his TV.
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05-09-2013 20:52 by HiYourJon
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"good goin' there einstein" "yeah way to go, einstein!" "nice move, einstein!" - the Einstein family reunion annual softball game
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05-23-2013 15:56 by HiYourJon
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It's Saturday night, which means I am higher than the national debt.
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11-23-2013 22:06 by HiYourJon
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Just saw the trailer for "Noah." I hear The Book is better.
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02-22-2014 13:30 by HiYourJon
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My Mexican waiter put my food down in front of another white man who looked nothing like me. So I totally get it now. Oh wait that's not my waiter.
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01-03-2014 15:40 by HiYourJon
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Why the hell is a group of Kangaroos NOT called a Kangacrew?
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01-08-2014 11:39 by HiYourJon
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Every day is free Slurpee day if you own a shotgun.
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07-11-2013 12:37 by HiYourJon
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