Eaglet1122 Funny Status Messages

   I have a drinking problem and don't intend on doing a thing about it!

   Marriage should have an expression date!

   Never knew if my father would hit us or the bottle!

   What is the weight limit on this roller coaster ??.....Because I am a little over my goal weight right now!!

   Claiming my heart back, wrapping it up in aluminum foil and putting it back in the freezer. You dig?

   my son just said he just blew the ship up..."Daddy that is S..H..I..P.. not the bad word Ok"?

   Does Roseetta Stone work? I want to learn to speak Mexican!

   John Wayne Toilet Tissue: It's Rough - It's Tough And It Don't Take Crap Off Anyone

   Just did the Ancestry.com DNA swab....Now the cops want to talk with me!! #StalkersLife

   Setting here wrapping presents with one hand. If someone finds a band aid in theirs Don't touch it, I'm still waiting on them test results.

   Why did the turtle cross the road? ...To get to the shell station!

   "Latin , Latin smooth as satin que hora es it's Latin time!!"

   When dropping off prescriptions for two people with the same name...make sure the dates of birth are correct. Apparently my 12 year old is on Blood Presure meds now...