SEAN Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon People who can't find happiness aren't in a liquor store
←Rate | 07-11-2011 14:11 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Middle East and Kim Kardashian's a$$ have a lot in common. Both are massive, have tons of oil, and have been invaded by the West.
←Rate | 10-14-2015 13:38 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Unless you're going to tell me there's a sniper target on me, it's okay, I can wait for you to finish chewing to hear what you have to say.
←Rate | 01-10-2012 17:22 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon As for my solicitation of prostitution charge Your Honor, I would like it dismissed under of the Dire Straits "Chicks for free" act of 1985.
←Rate | 07-11-2012 09:54 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think my downstairs neighbors are beginning to suspect I'm living in their attic...
←Rate | 10-14-2015 13:31 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyday, I brush my teeth & say "That's it. You can't squeeze anymore toothpaste out of this tube." Then everyday, I do.
←Rate | 03-02-2012 10:25 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon HD porn is so clear that you can actually see how disappointed their parents are.
←Rate | 03-05-2013 08:46 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon "We have to get together sometime!" is a just another way of saying, "I regret running into you."
←Rate | 08-20-2013 11:08 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hackers leak rare photos of Vanessa Hudgens and Miley Cyrus wearing clothing.
←Rate | 09-27-2014 15:40 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon my bodies a temple...Well more like a catholic church,, full of wine bread and guilt...
←Rate | 08-21-2017 19:18 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear kids snorting rubbers don't worry,, Your parents didn't know how to use them properly either...
←Rate | 04-05-2018 18:18 by SEAN Comments (3)  


   messageicon Saw a sign in the bus station today, it said ‘One bus takes 35 cars off the road’ personally I think it depends how aggressive the driver is…
←Rate | 07-08-2016 08:01 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon In hell, your coworker never finishes opening a wrapper.
←Rate | 09-01-2016 08:46 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I gave my wife a gluestick instead of chapstick last weekend and she's still not talking to me.
←Rate | 05-25-2012 10:37 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were NOT the correct answers.
←Rate | 11-16-2011 11:14 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let's leave Florida out of it next time. They've got enough on their plate, no need to burden them with national concerns.
←Rate | 11-08-2012 07:58 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Chris Brown is adding vocals from Aaliyah to his new song. Congratulations on making a plane crash the 2nd worst thing to happen to Aaliyah.
←Rate | 06-04-2013 14:14 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're going to carry on a cellphone conversation in the men's room you can count on me to make HORRIBLE noises and flush every two seconds.
←Rate | 03-29-2012 11:20 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're using a shopping cart at the liquor store I'm going to hit on you
←Rate | 01-16-2015 08:28 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon My favorite Black Friday tradition is watching the day's Walmart tramplings on the evening news.
←Rate | 11-19-2012 15:38 by SEAN Comments (0)  




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