SEAN Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Hackers leak rare photos of Vanessa Hudgens and Miley Cyrus wearing clothing.
←Rate | 09-27-2014 15:40 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon The NFL is taking it's crackdown on violence so seriously, the refs are now using rape whistles.
←Rate | 09-27-2014 15:38 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a tattered suit that I bring to weddings so if I happen to be running late I can put it on and stumble in yelling, "BEAR! BEAR!"
←Rate | 09-27-2014 15:38 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Are you even listening to me?" is a weird way for my wife to start a conversation.
←Rate | 09-27-2014 15:36 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon A cute thing I tell my kids when we see a dead deer on the side of the road is, "Looks like Santa lost his temper again."
←Rate | 09-27-2014 15:34 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon As a child, I used to play with an imaginary man who lived in a well. He'd be all, "Please, I'm not imaginary!" and I'd just laugh and laugh
←Rate | 09-27-2014 15:34 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon A coworker wouldn't stop bragging about her upcoming trip to Hawaii, so I emailed her a bunch of pictures of plane crashes.
←Rate | 09-27-2014 15:33 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not allowed to have any energy drinks until all the cat's hair grows back.
←Rate | 09-27-2014 15:32 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I swear if I see one more person enter this WalMart wearing pajamas I am going to take the belt off my bathrobe and choke them with it
←Rate | 09-27-2014 15:29 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon "It's summer! Yay! No more school shootings!" - American children.
←Rate | 06-11-2014 08:22 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sylvester Stallone has converted to Islam, and is now known as Ramadambo.
←Rate | 06-03-2014 00:59 by SEAN | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I ever die I want to be buried in my refrigerator in case I wake up and want pudding.
←Rate | 06-02-2014 17:30 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently sticking gum in a girl's hair no longer counts as flirting.
←Rate | 06-02-2014 17:29 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon My biggest fear is that some day my wife will find all the ice cubes I've kicked under the fridge.
←Rate | 06-02-2014 17:27 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Aliens watching our media must assume we are being implored to show allegiance to our ruler, a mysterious entity named "Geico."
←Rate | 06-02-2014 17:25 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Told my son, If you hit a game-ending home run it just seems polite to go ahead and pick up the bases as you go around.
←Rate | 06-02-2014 17:22 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I once dated an amputee,,,, She single-handedly changed my life.
←Rate | 06-02-2014 17:21 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon You girls were right about these yoga pants. I have never been more comfortable eating a bucket of chicken.
←Rate | 06-02-2014 17:21 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women who brag about multi-tasking should chill out. There is nothing cool about doing 4 things wrong at once
←Rate | 06-02-2014 17:19 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just layed on my horn for 39 seconds at the slow driver in front of me before realizing he was the last car of a funeral procession.
←Rate | 06-02-2014 17:18 by SEAN Comments (0)  




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