jdpower Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Shark Week is over, but I'm not taking down my decorations
←Rate | 08-10-2010 19:31 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Jersey Shore is on tonight? I guess I need to figure out how to get these Valtrex into my DirecTV box then.
←Rate | 08-05-2010 21:51 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon California judge overturns Proposition 8 gay marriage ban. Williams-Sonoma registry server ban. Williams-Sonoma registry server crashes
←Rate | 08-05-2010 21:46 by jdpower Comments (1)  


   messageicon ‎9 times more people are killed by falling coconuts than by sharks. I CANNOT WAIT for Coconut Week!
←Rate | 08-04-2010 12:32 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon The BP spill is now officially the worst spill in history.. surpassing Monica Lewinsky's dress.
←Rate | 08-02-2010 21:43 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just heard that Snooki was picked up by police for disorderly conduct.. apparently she was caught "orange-handed"
←Rate | 08-02-2010 16:11 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon BP says it will emerge from the current situation "smaller and wiser." I assume sea life will emerge "shinier and more waterproof."
←Rate | 07-28-2010 12:36 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm thinking comic-con might be the place to look for Bin Laden this week. Easy to find 72 virgins there...
←Rate | 07-24-2010 20:49 by jdpower Comments (1)  


   messageicon I have Bieber Fever. I listened to a song by Justin Bieber and now have a 103 degree temperature, I'm throwing up, and have a huge headache.
←Rate | 07-22-2010 17:44 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon A "Sarah Palindrome" is a sentence that reads forwards, but sounds backwards.
←Rate | 07-21-2010 16:55 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon The first guy to blow a vuvuzela at an NFL game will be getting his a$$ kicked.
←Rate | 07-20-2010 14:23 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cool slogan for the new Facebook movie: "See it with someone you never talked to in high school."
←Rate | 07-19-2010 16:47 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do NOT download the Mel Gibson app on your new iPhone. It attacks all your other apps, then implodes.
←Rate | 07-16-2010 13:01 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon i am pleased that BP has stopped the flow of water into the Oil of Mexico
←Rate | 07-16-2010 00:42 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon WTF is up with people hating on HipHop these days? Thanks to Lil Wayne,I now know that a "Goblin" is better than a "Goon", Pitbull taught Me how to count to 4 in Spanish, and Plies taught me how to be intimate with a woman by pouring Kool-Aid down her a$$
←Rate | 07-15-2010 14:13 by jdpower Comments (2)  


   messageicon Scientists at Lake Tahoe are fighting off a clam invasion.. Or to use scientific terms, "Lilith Fair"
←Rate | 07-12-2010 01:55 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw a guy in WalMart wearing aqua socks. I was afraid to take his picture, as it might provoke my murder and subsequent skinning.
←Rate | 07-06-2010 14:06 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I worry I've been wasting my time, I cheer myself up by remembering I have never read a Twilight book.
←Rate | 07-06-2010 14:04 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm typing this update because some fat, ugly wildebeest just sat across from me in the lunchroom and I want to look busy.. thank you for your support and understanding. It means a lot to me in these times of uncertaint -ok she just left, that was close.
←Rate | 06-28-2010 14:58 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Attention bullies: if you're looking for lunch money, there are tons of nerds hoarding around outside Apple Stores right now.
←Rate | 06-24-2010 12:00 by jdpower Comments (0)  




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