huck Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Accidentally spilled tear gas, and then realized there's no point in crying over it.
←Rate | 04-24-2013 06:21 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon My generation's zombies didn't run. They walked. Uphill. In the snow. They ate what brains they could find and they liked it.
←Rate | 05-01-2013 06:33 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon If there's one thing in this world that everyone can agree on it's... "Goonies never say die!"
←Rate | 05-02-2013 06:22 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who work in retail: How do you do it??? I am merely a humble line participant, and I want to choke everyone around me.
←Rate | 05-06-2013 06:20 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh, you lost your phone and it's on silent? That's too bad. If you liked it then you should've put a ring on it.
←Rate | 05-08-2013 06:32 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fun thing to do # 58: 1. Stand outside restaurant. 2. Wait for someone to ask if you're the valet. 3. Say yes.
←Rate | 05-09-2013 06:30 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd save a lot more money on car insurance if they quit spending billions on advertising.
←Rate | 05-10-2013 06:18 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you ever feel like a failure, just know that somewhere in the world, someone just lost their straw inside a Capri Sun.
←Rate | 05-12-2013 07:32 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know what they say. So I guess I don’t have to tell you.
←Rate | 05-14-2013 07:01 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would put a webcam in my shower to make extra money, but I would hate having to only sing public domain songs.
←Rate | 05-14-2013 07:19 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know how people dread going to the dentist? I feel that way about getting out of bed.
←Rate | 05-16-2013 06:24 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon My fiance and her mom say more in one phone conversation to each other than my dad and I have in my entire life.
←Rate | 05-19-2013 08:55 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Regardless of how much time you think you waste, just know that someone created a very detailed Wikipedia page for Grumpy Cat.
←Rate | 05-22-2013 06:31 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kids are more sensitive to bullying these days because they never grew up dealing with the dog from Duck Hunt.
←Rate | 05-26-2013 08:04 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon My favorite part about playing video games is probably thwarting evil. You never get to thwart anything in real life. I like to thwart.
←Rate | 05-26-2013 08:06 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Business Plan: 1. Hold sign that says "Free Hugs" 2. Whisper during the hug, "it's $50 to let go"
←Rate | 05-27-2013 08:34 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish my grade school teachers could see how much better I've gotten at hardcore spacing out.
←Rate | 05-29-2013 06:14 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I see names carved into a tree I don't think it's cute, I just think its strange how many people take knives on a date.
←Rate | 05-31-2013 06:15 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon While reciting the alphabet, we all turn into rappers when we get to L M N O P. That's the gangsta part.
←Rate | 06-03-2013 06:00 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Need to get up early tomorrow so I've set my neighbor's leaf blower for 6 a.m.
←Rate | 06-05-2013 06:59 by Huck Comments (0)  


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