jitney Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I love the surprised look on a woman's face when I tell her that she drew her eyebrows too high.
←Rate | 07-01-2015 21:30 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon I feel a jokeke for Chris Brown and Ray Rice Rice coming up. hmmm...maybe after I finish this Brown Rice, I'll knock it out!
←Rate | 09-09-2014 18:21 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Anyone knows how taco shells make it through days on a shelf of a warehouse without breaking, but as soon as it ends up on my plate with some meat in it, it falls apart into pieces? (-__-)
←Rate | 08-31-2013 13:54 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Book of ELI, was opened in the Fourth Quarter of the SuperBowl!!!!
←Rate | 02-05-2012 21:47 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Craziest superstition I ever heard - whatever you doing when the New Years come, that's gonna what you do for the rest of the year! So does anyone wanna go drinking with me on New Years?
←Rate | 12-19-2013 16:18 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon A car pulled over. The driver anxiously asked me: "What is the shortest way to South Miami hospital." I said: " Close your eyes and keep driving."
←Rate | 01-21-2016 12:41 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you have a craving for Pringles & Sardines at 3am in the morning..... you just smoked some bad weed, thats all!
←Rate | 06-09-2012 01:01 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Shout out to whoever got these gas prices down in July. now lets hit da two dollar mark.
←Rate | 07-13-2012 06:50 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Its like a million Nicki Minaj snuck in at the SuperBowl show.....
←Rate | 02-05-2012 20:10 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon If a ex-wife is laying in your bed, gasping for air and calling out your name, then you might want to hold the pillow down some more.
←Rate | 01-08-2012 14:12 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you think that age is just a number, then prison is just a house .
←Rate | 10-26-2015 17:59 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon No wonder, the Chinese took the medal in Table Tennis in the olympics....their use to seeing small balls going back n forth.
←Rate | 08-09-2012 00:43 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Great first it was the Movie theater early this yr, then the Mall random shootings, no its kids at the elementary level...... Can we put praying back in school now?
←Rate | 12-14-2012 13:57 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon I dont have a short temper, I just have a quick reaction to bulllllshhhiittttts!
←Rate | 04-01-2013 02:17 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon In Miami: We had a great winter season lastnight, can't wait 'til next year.
←Rate | 02-19-2013 06:05 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Welcome to Chik-Fila, doesn't really matters what you all protest for, as long as you EAT MORE CHICKEN!!
←Rate | 08-03-2012 18:19 by jitney Comments (0)  

←Rate | 06-06-2016 00:28 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Did you ever notice how everything in life just keeps shrinking? Even in the Hip-Hop world. It used to be 'Biggie Smalls, Big Pun, Fat Joe. Then it was lil jon, lil kim, liil wayne. 15yrs from now its gonig to be, 1PAC, BalemicBob, AtomMike, SpermSpewed!
←Rate | 01-14-2014 21:04 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon The best part of this superbowl tonight was Facebook and Instagram!
←Rate | 02-02-2014 21:57 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Chicken Omelette - a vendetta against the chicken race! Usually when a contract chicken killer who has it in for the chicken, to not only take out a hen's eggs, but to stuff it with chicken! 2 generations of chicken dead!
←Rate | 06-23-2014 18:49 by jitney Comments (0)  

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