Czovczov Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I can tell by the way you give me instructions that you've dealt with a lot of dumb people before me.
←Rate | 08-22-2012 09:17 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon My biggest fear is dying in a car accident that doesn't totally destroy my phone
←Rate | 03-18-2014 01:43 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate how my friends are always trying to convince me to do extreme activities. Like bungee jumping, skydiving or leaving the house.
←Rate | 03-07-2013 12:44 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was trying to make a sandwich. But I'm all out of vodka.
←Rate | 01-05-2013 13:55 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon If someone doesn't stand up to let you pass them in movie theater seats, it's totally cool and legal to fart in their face as you walk by.
←Rate | 05-13-2012 08:33 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just heard someone on the porch, hopefully this is just a home invasion and not some unexpected company
←Rate | 12-16-2015 08:25 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only way your world is ending on the 21st is if you get married that day.
←Rate | 12-19-2012 00:36 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's no coincidence that you have never seen a hunger strike for the legalization of marijuana.
←Rate | 09-30-2012 08:03 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I haven't offended you, just scroll thru my timeline. It's in there.
←Rate | 01-24-2015 13:10 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before I could even offer a plea bargain, the judge pronounced us man and wife.
←Rate | 04-23-2013 13:12 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon My iPhone just auto-corrected "I will be home shortly" to "I wish I was single"
←Rate | 01-22-2012 15:14 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you are so sensitive that I can't joke around without risking offending you and I have to watch every word I say, in case you might misinterpret it, then we can't be friends.
←Rate | 01-28-2015 01:09 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just read that Kim K is taking some "time off work be with her daughter" but she doesn't have a job so now I'm confused
←Rate | 11-05-2014 13:01 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your breath isn't flammable, you're not an alcoholic.
←Rate | 01-23-2012 13:19 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon So its safe to assume Kanye & Khadarshian's baby will have a huge butt and a huge mouth?
←Rate | 12-31-2012 11:54 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon To help reduce cost, this status was typed in china.
←Rate | 02-11-2013 13:11 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're going to be alive, you might as well be incredible.
←Rate | 01-26-2012 11:11 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who describe things as "better than sex" are obviously having the wrong kind of sex.
←Rate | 04-01-2012 10:13 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon The other idiots at the interview didn't stand a chance, I wore 4 ties.
←Rate | 01-23-2014 12:27 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Diamonds are women's best friends. Little shiny rocks are their best friends. This is the kind of crazy men have to deal with.
←Rate | 04-08-2013 00:53 by Czovczov Comments (0)  




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