BEGO Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon The best selling books are cookbooks and the second are diet books. So you can learn how not to eat what you've just learned how to cook.
←Rate | 03-16-2011 15:53 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon when you see a sign at a restaurant that says 'employees must wash BOTH hands', I think that's when you have to worry...
←Rate | 01-11-2012 22:23 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Haters will broadcast your failure, but whisper your success.
←Rate | 02-23-2012 21:50 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Teenage girls: stop making the duck face in all your photos. I don't know who told you it was attractive cause it isn't. You look quite stupid and immature, not to mention ugly. Mostly stupid. Real stupid.
←Rate | 11-24-2011 21:51 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon The perfect woman: 1. Beautiful but doesn't let it get to her head. 2. Intelligent without needing to prove it. 3. Funny as hell.
←Rate | 09-17-2012 08:17 by BEGO Comments (1)  


   messageicon I'm pretty sure my Internet Explorer “error reports” end up the same place my letters to Santa do.
←Rate | 06-19-2011 21:27 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I had a shot of whiskey for everytime I thought of you, I'd be sober.
←Rate | 05-02-2012 21:10 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon How has sound technology come so far & yet the McDonalds drive-thru still sounds like someone is farting into a walkie-talkie.
←Rate | 03-15-2012 22:42 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook should invent a relationship status that says "Only when i'm drunk."
←Rate | 04-18-2012 21:12 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if dog’s had facebook, would they put our picture as their profile picture.
←Rate | 04-26-2013 21:32 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some of the best decisions I’ve ever made involved me clicking cancel instead of send.
←Rate | 01-25-2013 21:31 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook's timeline is my favorite way to watch girls from high school get fat.
←Rate | 12-20-2011 20:22 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Graduation speech: I would like to thank Wikipedia, and copy/paste. - I'm out bitc$es
←Rate | 04-10-2012 21:09 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon People are saying the voting age should be 16. Twilight won 9 teen shoice awards. You really want them voting for the next president?
←Rate | 11-09-2012 22:53 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Seems like it's going to be “die trying” rather than “get rich” kind of life.
←Rate | 10-05-2012 22:20 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wanna be rich enough to have 11 little people who run out of my closet every morning dressed as a nascar pit crew to make my bed really fast.
←Rate | 03-22-2013 21:19 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I cant stand when people say a babies age in months after a year old. "Yeah he's 29 months old", B$tch don't make me do math.
←Rate | 08-16-2012 21:54 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon How come whenever I tell someone I play guitar, they challenge me to Guitar Hero? I have never challenged a veteran to Call of Duty.
←Rate | 04-22-2011 11:05 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon We all have that one friend who always gives the best relationship advice , but is still single.
←Rate | 01-10-2012 21:24 by BEGO Comments (1)  


   messageicon When a guy calls you hot, he is looking at your body. When a guy calls you pretty, he is looking at your face. When a guy calls you beautiful, he is looking at your heart. All three guys still wanna fuc& you, though.
←Rate | 03-08-2014 22:48 by BEGO Comments (0)  



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