bego Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I would switch cell-phone providers if one had an "unsend my drunk text" option.
←Rate | 04-09-2012 21:17 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Slut: *Facebook status* describe me with a commercial slogan <3 Me: So easy a caveman could do it.
←Rate | 06-18-2012 22:20 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I learned no matter how much your friends pressure you, you must never snort lines of curry powder.
←Rate | 11-08-2011 20:56 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon A good girlfriend is like a good bra, she uplifting, she is supportive, she fits you well, and she is always close to your heart.
←Rate | 11-10-2012 00:15 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Girls dont dress for boys, they dress for themselves. If girls dressed for boys, they'd just walk around naked all the time
←Rate | 11-10-2012 22:39 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Having sex doesn't make you a s?ut, and being a virgin doesn't make you a saint.
←Rate | 11-25-2012 21:35 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon The #1 biggest lie from a girl: I'm fine...
←Rate | 01-22-2012 21:52 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you click a button you didn't mean to click, so you just kinda hold the click and drag your cursor around hoping it doesn't click.
←Rate | 01-11-2013 21:28 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don’t care how many weights you can lift. You’ll never be Badass as the 64yo lady that swam 110miles from Cuba to FL, pus%ies.
←Rate | 09-05-2013 22:44 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon 3 things I want in a relationship: Eyes that wont cry, lips than wont lie, and love that wont die.
←Rate | 07-25-2011 22:58 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm cleaning out my car today, in case anyone needs 27 half-empty bottles of water.
←Rate | 10-26-2012 20:42 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I'm rich, I'm going to dictate my status updates to my secretary, and my butler will press that share button.
←Rate | 07-26-2011 22:54 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today, an insect settled on my monitor. Being lazy, I tried waving my mouse at it, but it wouldn't move. So I loaded a picture of Justin Bieber. Worked like a charm.
←Rate | 04-14-2011 23:22 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not saying blondes are dumb, but I just saw one snorting Sweet & Low because she thought it was Diet Coke.
←Rate | 05-17-2012 21:15 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon The biggest lie I tell myself: I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it.
←Rate | 05-25-2012 21:55 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Girls are like Jedi's, they can lift things without even touching them... if you know what I mean.
←Rate | 04-10-2012 21:13 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I look at my friends and think to myself, "Where did I meet these crazy people?" But then I think "What would I do without them?"
←Rate | 07-26-2012 22:09 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Alarm clocks should come with sounds like “tiny doll feet scampering into the closet” because I am not hitting snooze when I hear that.
←Rate | 06-25-2014 21:48 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon A teenager is always lazy to hold a pencil and write but never too lazy to hold a cell phone and type..
←Rate | 09-10-2011 22:49 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever drive somewhere, completely zoned out, and wonder, ‘How the heck did I just get here?' Then start freaking out about how many red lights you must have ran. Yeah, happens all the time.
←Rate | 01-27-2012 22:24 by BEGO Comments (0)  




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