bego Funny Status Messages

   Do something awesome, no one sees it. Do something embarrassing, everyone sees it.

   No matter how long you have been together, it's completely okay to walk out of someone's life if you just don't feel like you belong there anymore.

   "I wasn't that Drunk.." "Dude, you threw a bird at the police and screamed go angry bird kill those pigs!"

   Buying water at baseball games is ridiculous! $5 for water?!?! If I wanted to pay $5 for water, I would buy Miller Lite.

   Even if oil prices go down, I’m still going to siphon gas from my neighbor’s car because I like the adrenaline rush and he’s an a&shole.

   Wow! My political opinion just changed because of what you posted on Facebook” – said no one ever.

   Face your damn problems. Don't Facebook your problems.

   I'm hungry. Fridge: I don't give a s#it. Cabinet: Bi$ch, don't look at me. Freezer: LOL. You like ice?

   My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.

   New Life goal, make it to the bottom of my chapstick before  I lose it.

   People glorify being single because you can sleep with anyone you want. In reality you can only sleep with the people who want to sleep with you. That’s a very different number.

   I hate when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn't follow the script.

   Pack of gum, 10 chances to turn an enemy into a friend

   Okay, let's get this straight. There's no way EVERYONE has the best boyfriend in the world. Work it out amongst yourselves.

   Never judge a book by its cover, UNLESS the word Twilight is written on it... then you know it's s$it.

   The human body has 7 trillion nerves and some people manage to get on every single last one of them.

   The bar was closed when I got there with a sign that said, “The door is alarmed.” I said to myself, “How do you think I feel?”

   Maybe your ex didn't take you for granted, but they sure took you for everything else.

   My girlfriend and I have an open relationship and will continue to do so right up until she finds out.

   Love doesn't need to be perfect, it just needs to be true.