BEGO Funny Status Messages

   British accent: Justin Biebah. American: Justin Biebur. Australian: Jastin Beybah. You just tried out all of the accents, didnt you?

   Sometimes things just don't work out....like when you finally get your foot in the door, someone slams it!

   If everybody was happy in relationship there wouldn't be any good music.

   Jay-Z has vowed to never use the word "bi$ch" again. I guess he has 100 problems now.

   Dear Facebook friend that posts inspirational quotes, your inspirational quotes have inspired me to unfriend you!

   Holding my phone while in the tub is similar to holding a loved one over a cliff.

   Big sunglasses are an ugly girl's best friend.

   If bars can say no to drunk people why won't McDonalds say no to fat people?

   Since my girlfriend has gotten pregnant alot has changed... Like my name, address and telephone number.

   How many Mexicans does it take to build a.........oh shi*, they're done.

   So many things remind me of You, mostly when I sit on the toilet.

   If facebook showed how many times I visited your profile, I'm dead. 

   It doesn't matter how old you are, if a balloon is about to hit the floor, you dive for that s**t!

   If you love someone, set them fee. If they don't come back, call them up later when you're drunk

   I swear 2012 lasted for like 3 months.

   Dear sleep, I know we had problems when I was younger, but now I love you.

   Unless life also hands you water and sugar, that lemonade is gonna damn suck.

   Everyone has that 1 favorite piece of clothing that you wear all the time and refuse to throw away.

   "Pay attention to me when I'm ignoring you" -women

   I have way more eye contact with my computer screen than I do with any humans.