BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Admit it, sometimes, even when your crush does something really weird…. it still looks cute for you.

   Oh, you think you're ugly? I believe you spelled attention seeking wh$re wrong.

   Hey Friday! How ya been buddy?

   I ain't doing s$it today. ☑ Mission accomplished.

   Sorry, I'm really bad at returning calls and texts." = "Um yeah, I just don't want to talk to you."

   You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

   I live in constant fear of accidentally mentioning something I only know about you because I've stalked you on the internet.

   I love people who gossip behind my back... that's just where they belong, behind ME!

   Some mornings it's best to just fill the sink with coffee, dunk your head in it, and suck

   Everything happens for a reason. It's just that it's always too late when we find out.

   One must respect the "every-other urinal" law. There are 10 open urinals, why would you want to pee right next to another dude?

   It's easier to fall asleep in class than in my bed at home.

   I would probably buy the iPhone5 if it kept me from drunk dialing my exes.

   Nicki Minaj being a judge on American Idol is like Taylor Swift giving relationship advice.

   Dear Vegetarians, you're not doing us any favors, all your doing is eating our food supply. Sincerely, Starving Animals.

   Sorting out your Facebook friends list? Change the date of your birthday and anyone who wishes you happy birthday, delete!

   Marriage is hard. Marriage is so hard Nelson Mandela got divorced. He spend 27 years in south african prison getting tortured and beaten everyday for 27 years straight. He got out of jail, was 6 months with wife, and said "i cant take this s#it"

   Coffee shops should have a separate line for people who are late for work.

   Twilight. A love triangle between a mentally handicapped girl, a disco ball, and a hairy pedophile.

   I have gotten out of bed 365 days a year for 37 years. That is 13,505 sit-ups. And not ONE ab to show for it.