santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Oh, I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas, Mommy and Daddy are mad. I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas 'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad

   It kind of sucks living in Detroit this Christmas. The economy has hit us so hard, I heard Haiti was organizing a fund raiser for us

   Chevy Chase has been getting that Christmas tree for over 20 years. You'ld think he would finally remember a saw.

   just passed a holiday cocaine drug bust. It looks like some people are gonna be denied a white Christmas this year.

   loves how Christmas movies capture the holidays in a way everyone typically experiences. In two hours: greedy men become charitable; enemies settle their differences; women fall in love with the unattractive nerd; and an angel get its wings.

   When I was a child, I remember lying with my eyes closed waiting for Santa to come. ....Then there was the awkward silence as he got dressed and left.

   received a drinking game for Christmas from the woman that used to be my therapist. She told me once I had a drinking problem… Job Security maybe?

   I'm going to make Christmas cookies with dog bone cookie cutters & see if anyone eats them this year!!!

   OK Santa I followed your stupid rules all year...it was hard not killing anyone or punching anyone in the face but I did it.....so If Milla Jovovich isn't under my tree this year you'll be first on the hit list Fat Man!

   Santa better take me off the naughty list or I will black out the moon on Monday night.

   was surprised to receive a compliment about his VW Jetta today - especially at a Mazda/GM car dealership. The salesman said: "Well German engineering, you can't go wrong. I just can't believe they killed so many Jews. You have a Merry Christmas."

   Nothing brings out the worst in human nature like a crowded mall. :) I can't wait to start Christmas shopping!

   Lindsay Lohan is spending the holidays in rehab, poor girl..no friends..no family, no drugs..no alcohol..I'm just sayin!!

   Im not an angry person...but that chick singing christmas carols in the hyundai commercial makes me want to punch a sleeping baby in the face!!!!

   Spending Christmas in a little town called Red Bud. I'm sure it will be a fine holiday experience.

   if I tell Santa what I want for Christmas, then I will definately be on the naughty list...

   Girls just wanna have fun? Yeah right, just try and not get her a Christmas present and see where that gets ya.

   After I get Christmas bought, I will be so broke that come New Years I'm gonna have to party like it's $19.99

   i like to say a BIG HAPPY CHRISTMAS to the person who dropped money on the floor today.thank you

   thinks Santa should send all the naughty people Justin Bieber CDs instead of coal for Christmans