love Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon LOVE: If you need direction, search your heart. If you still can't find the answer, search through your significant other's sh!t.
←Rate | 10-02-2011 11:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Paula Deen selling Diabetes Drugs is like Courtney Love selling methadone.
←Rate | 01-13-2012 14:46 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'll rather slip and fall in sh!t than fall in love with you!
←Rate | 03-10-2012 12:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I pretty much need a girl to love me for what's on the outside at this point. The inside has been broken for a while and I've been trying to fix it with booze ever since.
←Rate | 03-22-2012 13:33 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.
←Rate | 11-10-2012 22:40 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon We only stalk the ones we love.
←Rate | 08-22-2012 08:38 by Czovczov Comments (0)  

   messageicon I shot my girlfriend with a cupid's arrow thinking that she would fall more in love with me, but now she's just laying there on the ground ignoring me.
←Rate | 02-14-2013 11:49 by @dj_soltrix Comments (0)  

   messageicon Now..a cheaper way to express your love...----E-cards !
←Rate | 07-22-2012 23:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon All through their lives while raising my kids, I consistently told them that when they grow up they should “do what you love.” I probably should have also mentioned that they should run like hell as soon as they heard the sirens.
←Rate | 08-19-2012 22:02 by jacksje4 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I love it when she's hot for me, or just hot for someone and I happen to be there.
←Rate | 09-13-2012 05:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You have to figure that Shaquille O'Neal never signs greeting cards "Love, Shaq" because that band the B-52's came out with that song and pretty much ruined it for him.
←Rate | 06-22-2016 09:01 by Fazzella Comments (0)  

   messageicon Valentines Day: A woman is sitting at home with her husband and says, "I love you." He asks, "Is that you or the wine talking?" She replies, "It's me... talking to the wine."
←Rate | 02-07-2016 21:55 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Love to collect call people randomly, just to remind them that that is somehow still a thing.
←Rate | 08-16-2016 15:32 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Really hate crime but I love true crime docs so I'm at a real impasse here.
←Rate | 09-10-2016 06:03 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Roses are red, nuts are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it is stiff, stick it in! Not that's a love poem!
←Rate | 01-22-2013 13:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I got "I love you.", tattooed on my penis... my girlfriend said "Quit trying to put words in my mouth!".
←Rate | 08-15-2010 01:05 by Eric N. Comments (0)  

   messageicon Fake Love: Her: Good morning love of my life, beat of my heart. Him: God morning sunshine, reason I live. True Love: Her: coffee if you want it. Him: Ehhhh.
←Rate | 09-19-2012 21:49 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't like Hot Pockets at all. But I imagine that people who like scalding the roof of their mouths while getting diarrhea all in the same day probably love them.
←Rate | 01-03-2016 15:43 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Many admit to being fools for love. But only Foghat had the guts to admit to being fools for the city
←Rate | 08-29-2011 11:42 by flinnie Comments (0)  

   messageicon it me or is Tosh.0 the greatest freaking show since Flavor of Love???...
←Rate | 06-22-2010 03:41 Comments (0)  

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