love Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I tell people that the secret ingredient in my cookies is "love," but it's actually "floor"
←Rate | 03-05-2013 05:49 by flinnie Comments (0)  

   messageicon My ex-wife seems to think she is a female version of Nostradamus. Before the divorce she predicted that I was going to pay for it, that I would never find love again, and that my world as I know it was going to end... a year and half later I'm a belliever
←Rate | 02-13-2010 08:40 by Comments (0)  

   messageicon When cops do that thing where they park side by side in an empty parking lot and talk for hours, that means they're in love, right?
←Rate | 08-12-2010 08:32 Comments (1)  

   messageicon love is a social disease.
←Rate | 02-21-2011 20:04 Comments (0)  

   messageicon God is love, but Lucifer does that thing with his tongue.
←Rate | 12-09-2017 14:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon IKE if you love that feeling when you finally take your shoes off at the end of the day.
←Rate | 03-01-2013 21:19 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon I love cooking for my man because it makes me feel both independent and oppressed at the same time.
←Rate | 08-16-2012 10:36 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I love when people say "they're expecting a baby" as though it might be something else, like a penguin.
←Rate | 03-15-2016 01:27 Comments (0)  

   messageicon How come men go to $trip clubs with other men? I'm thinking of getting a b0ner later, you wanna come? Come on man let's go get some b0ners, my treat! I love going out with my buddies and getting b0ners with them...
←Rate | 11-17-2011 02:21 by rob224 Comments (0)  

   messageicon would love to own a maternity store. He would call it "Come Inside"
←Rate | 12-06-2009 09:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If he doesn't grab your hips and pretend to bone when you bend over for something, it's not love. Or he's mature and well... boring.
←Rate | 10-24-2013 01:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon takes hostages and shows zero remorse.
←Rate | 06-15-2011 09:22 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don't love the person who "enjoys" with you. Love the person who "suffers" without you.
←Rate | 08-25-2011 04:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sometimes love comes like a dream and leaves like a nightmare.
←Rate | 02-04-2011 23:51 by Seddy90 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My Mom is made entirely of flaws,, Stitched together with good intentions and a pantload of love....Love you Ma.
←Rate | 05-11-2012 20:40 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon It is said that the first step to solving the problem of an addict!on is the verbal admission of the issue itself. Okay then: I love n@ked women.
←Rate | 08-23-2012 09:46 by eg: Mike Smith Comments (0)  

   messageicon I am so overwhelmed by the birthday love, and SO underwhelmed by the birthday gifts!!!!
←Rate | 09-04-2013 10:51 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon We tend to be in despair when the person we love leaves us, but the truth is it's not our loss, it's theirs. They left the one person in the world who would never give up on them.
←Rate | 06-24-2011 18:16 by SDG Comments (0)  

   messageicon our lives are shaped by those who love us, and by those who refuse to love us
←Rate | 08-02-2010 15:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just once I would love to get a junk email that read..."P*nis englargment?? No way dude! You are set! Forget I even sent this message." Is that too much to ask???
←Rate | 01-14-2013 11:24 by Paul Comments (0)  

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