love Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon who ever said that it takes two to fight never seen the crackhead at 7-11 yelling at the wall I love niagara falls
←Rate | 03-12-2011 18:14 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ladies: There is no sign language in love. If he didn't say it, he didn't mean it. Stop assuming and putting words into his mouth.
←Rate | 12-18-2011 00:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I've always been told to dress for the job you want. I love my cape
←Rate | 03-19-2013 18:49 by Eddy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Every branch is full of hard-working intelligent people that always has our best interest in mind...I love the way our government it run. Are you getting this NSA?
←Rate | 06-12-2013 15:03 by M Comments (0)  

   messageicon I love you, babe, of course you can get whatever you want...whoa, whoa, let's keep it on the dollar menu, though, ok?
←Rate | 01-28-2013 13:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon That moment when you wake up the next morning laying in bed next to the one you just fell in love with and you lay there trying to remember their name? GOD I MISS MY 20'S!
←Rate | 05-24-2014 14:13 by scott92104 Comments (0)  

   messageicon " Don't forget to provide love and support to someone that has absolutely no interest in you today." I don't guarantee your front teeth after that.
←Rate | 03-31-2014 21:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon LOVE: If you need direction, search your heart. If you still can't find the answer, search through your significant other's sh!t.
←Rate | 10-02-2011 11:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Paula Deen selling Diabetes Drugs is like Courtney Love selling methadone.
←Rate | 01-13-2012 14:46 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'll rather slip and fall in sh!t than fall in love with you!
←Rate | 03-10-2012 12:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I pretty much need a girl to love me for what's on the outside at this point. The inside has been broken for a while and I've been trying to fix it with booze ever since.
←Rate | 03-22-2012 13:33 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.
←Rate | 11-10-2012 22:40 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon We only stalk the ones we love.
←Rate | 08-22-2012 08:38 by Czovczov Comments (0)  

   messageicon I shot my girlfriend with a cupid's arrow thinking that she would fall more in love with me, but now she's just laying there on the ground ignoring me.
←Rate | 02-14-2013 11:49 by @dj_soltrix Comments (0)  

   messageicon Now..a cheaper way to express your love...----E-cards !
←Rate | 07-22-2012 23:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon All through their lives while raising my kids, I consistently told them that when they grow up they should “do what you love.” I probably should have also mentioned that they should run like hell as soon as they heard the sirens.
←Rate | 08-19-2012 22:02 by jacksje4 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I love it when she's hot for me, or just hot for someone and I happen to be there.
←Rate | 09-13-2012 05:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You have to figure that Shaquille O'Neal never signs greeting cards "Love, Shaq" because that band the B-52's came out with that song and pretty much ruined it for him.
←Rate | 06-22-2016 09:01 by Fazzella Comments (0)  

   messageicon Valentines Day: A woman is sitting at home with her husband and says, "I love you." He asks, "Is that you or the wine talking?" She replies, "It's me... talking to the wine."
←Rate | 02-07-2016 21:55 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Love to collect call people randomly, just to remind them that that is somehow still a thing.
←Rate | 08-16-2016 15:32 Comments (0)  

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