love Funny Status Messages

   I love strippers. They're awesome. Plus I can't get my girlfriend to do shi t for a dollar.

   Ghetto Word of the Day: Decide “My boy fronting like he love his girl, but errbody know he got a couple of chicks on decide”.

   Do you think it's OK to cross out the word LOVE on a Valentines card and replace it with "WANNA F&@K"?

   Just spent some time manscaping. Planning to donate to 'Locks for Love'.

   A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears.

   I know I joke around on facebook with status's about women but deap down I think the greatest thing a man can ever learn, Is how to love a woman and the feeling of being loved in return!

   Why is everyone so obsessed with the idea of love? If you're dying to be hurt so badly, I've got a baseball bat for that.

   How to win his love: 1. hold your own hair. 2. tell him he's big. 3. make him laugh at you. 4. be quiet.

   I accidentally took my girlfriends birth control pills..... As soon as I'm done crying I'm gonna B*TCH you out....... Oh....... I love you! ♥

   I love reading ppls status "off to the gym" when you know damn well they are only going to use the massage chair

   Life is short, live it. Love is rare, grab it. Anger is bad, dump it. Fear is awful, face it. Memories are sweet, cherish them.

   I love people that go to the beach w. a t shirt over their bathing suit, I think that draws more attention to whatever ur trying to hide

   In every Red Lobster tank, there's one lobster who says: "You guys are so paranoid! It's great here! I love the view!"

   i hate to love, I love to hate...

   Facebook is a distraction - an attractive waste of time. That's what I love most about it.

   Women love compliments. Unless it’s about her hairy chest or her moustache. Then you’ll get hit in the face with a handbag.

   Teacher: Johnny,Use the word HARASSMENT in a Sentence..... Johnny: I was in Love with a girl and...Her-ass-meant a lot to me

   While drunk me would love to grab your butt...sober me would probably agree

   Shoutout to all the girls who are curled up in a ball in their bed waiting for that goodnight text. Go to sleep, cuz he doesn't love you....

   wondering if cupid has a job opening??? I would LOVE to shoot people in the Ass and get away with it!!!!