bego Funny Status Messages

   Happy Saturday!!! May the only work you do be piecing together last night's drunk texts.

   I love a woman with passionate thoughts, eloquent words, and a beautiful mind...oh, and a nice rack too!

   Leaving Facebook for Twitter is like leaving the bar to go home.

   To those who have made Facebook their diary . . . Please slap yourself for me.

   Ugly girls are like prime numbers - nothing will go into them except themselves.

   Mistakes are painful; but as time goes by, it becomes a collection of experiences called Lessons. Live life and embrace life lessons!

   If you love someone, then you have to let them go. If they come back, then they're meant for you, but if they don't, then you stalk them

   Don't waste your time on things that only hurt you, and remember to forget those who forget you.

   America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.

   Daylight Saving Time starts this evening, turn your clocks back and change batteries in smoke alarms.

   So you gonna take 15 minutes to text back huh? That's fine, I'll take 20...

   Black Friday = Broke Saturday

   Deleting your Facebook is just like running away from home. Your're just doing it for attention and you'll be back in an hour or so..

   Women have mysterious ability of communication..........They listen half.Understand quarter & can tell DOUBLE.

   Hey Guys, never chase women. Chase your dreams and women will follow.

   Drunk people are the only honest ones left.

   True friends are like diamonds, precious and rare. False friends are like leaves, found everywhere.

   If you didn't want to sit at the kids' table then you shouldn't have seen the new Twilight movie.

   Describing yourself as a "morning person" translates to me that you are a fu$king as$hole.

   Friendships must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans.