Snotty Funny Status Messages
Search results for status messages containing 'Snotty': View All Messages
Page: 71 of 159
I just had a small salad with a side of carrots for lunch and now I know why women are so horrible to each other.
←Rate |
02-27-2016 20:25 by Snotty
Comments (0)
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times... So, After doing the math, the times were pretty much average.
←Rate |
04-22-2016 19:32 by Snotty
Comments (0)
I'm inventing a sandwhich made from: 5 hour energy drink, Cialis, some cheese, salami, bacon, & lettuce... I'm calling it the "5 Hour Footlong."
←Rate |
11-07-2013 07:18 by snotty
Comments (0)
FYI,, I'm Sneaking into your house and eating just enough of the marshmallows out of your Lucky Charms to make you sad,,, but not suspicious.
←Rate |
09-11-2015 23:16 by snotty
Comments (0)
I'm "up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, Start" years old.
←Rate |
09-23-2013 08:49 by snotty
Comments (0)
Dear Santa, please help my dad find some milk and cigarettes so he can finally come home
←Rate |
09-06-2014 10:30 by snotty
Comments (0)
Good thing my car has cruise control because I'm feeling pretty sleepy.
←Rate |
11-27-2012 11:04 by snotty
Comments (0)
If you have a hunting license,, it's TOTALLY legal to shoot cars with antlers on them.
←Rate |
12-13-2012 12:41 by snotty
Comments (0)
Eating Taco Bell for the 5th night in a row... BTW, your colon grows back right?
←Rate |
08-20-2013 19:30 by snotty
Comments (0)
My inflatable girlfriend always looks surprised when I walk into the room.
←Rate |
07-23-2014 20:34 by snotty
Comments (0)
Forget the melting polar ice caps, the most devastating element of the future will surely be how many grandmas have tramp stamps.
←Rate |
04-12-2014 15:59 by snotty
Comments (0)
As if people didn't have enough reasons to panic when their doorbell rang... Now we have to worry that it's Ryan Seacrest.
←Rate |
07-21-2015 20:47 by snotty
Comments (0)
Scientists have discovered a planet that has four sunsets a day. Imagine how frigging tedious Instagram is there.?
←Rate |
12-03-2015 16:43 by snotty
Comments (0)
My current cardio workout consists of taking a fistful of Exlax right after I see a "Next rest stop,, 25 miles" sign on the turnpike
←Rate |
04-20-2012 15:15 by snotty
Comments (0)
Wait,, there's a "pro-anorexia" community? That's a thing?.. Oh,, I bet they have the worst luncheons ever.
←Rate |
04-03-2012 22:05 by snotty
Comments (0)
I hate when I’m on the treadmill, and my hand accidentally hits the stop button & I have to get off and accidentally eat a bacon grilled cheese sandwich.
←Rate |
08-17-2013 16:40 by snotty
Comments (0)
Yes, you can lead a horse to water but you can also bring the water to him. Maybe do something nice for someone else for once in your life... geesh
←Rate |
09-15-2013 14:29 by snotty
Comments (0)
At Olive Garden, request a table for one, last name Birthday. When your tables ready they say "Birthday party for 1".... Then just cry.
←Rate |
09-20-2013 16:44 by snotty
Comments (0)
REALLY??.. You're on food stamps and using your IPhone 4 to complain about it on Facebook???.... This is why I sometimes feel like I should give up,,,,, why bother trying??
←Rate |
08-03-2012 12:03 by snotty
Comments (0)
My coworker, a Jehovah's Witness,, wouldn't attend the Christmas luncheon.. She took her bonus check though,, Maybe she's donating it to her church.
←Rate |
12-20-2012 15:08 by snotty
Comments (0)
[Search Results] [View All Messages]