Cj Funny Status Messages

   Wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything, and everybody believed in you?

   They say, "You are what you eat" That's funny. I don't remember eating a sexy beast this morning.

   Just saw a guy using a payphone. I can only assume he's being told where to deliver the ransom money.

   Hey, to any friend that has has ever helped me out THANKS, I'm sure I've told you before but I have just been thinking about all that other have done for me and I really appreciate it !!!! THANK YOU !!!

   A friend is like a good bra: hard to find, comfortable, supportive, always lifts you up, makes you look better, never lets you down or leaves you hanging, and always close to your heart.

   He always has the same expression on his face; “only a mother could love.”

   When God closes one door he opens another. I just hope it's not a trap door.

   I am having an out of money experience.

   You can't judge a book by it's cover...but you can judge milk by it's smell.

   just another brick in the wall

   I may be the girl of us two, but I think I've proven I've got way more balls.

   If the game doesn't freeze every 6 minutes, then you're not watching FOX.

   If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, "keep away from children."

   I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes”

   God must love stupid people. He made so many.

   apparently just having one of those days....tonight is definitely going to be sponsored by Coors light!!

   Happy Wife = Happy Life

   Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond, by the end you will wish you had a club and a spade.

   Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

   Laughter burns calories.