Funny Status Messages Search

X The fact that Mitt Romney has a son named Matt Romney kinda makes you hope for 3 more sons named Mett Mott & Mutt.

<--Rate | Submitted: 12-31-2011 08:35 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Maybe if they turned the economy off and then turned it back on it might run better. Works for my computer.

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-27-2011 14:06 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Everybody says waking up at 5 in the morning to exercise makes you feel great but I think lying in bed for another 2 hours feels better

<--Rate | Submitted: 09-07-2011 09:19 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X For the life of me, I can't understand why small and medium pizzas exist.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-28-2012 12:17 by SuthernFukr Comments (1)

X If you're upset about seeing a middle finger on TV, you're going to sh!t yourself when you see everything else going on in the world.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-07-2012 09:25 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X The only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed.

<--Rate | Submitted: 10-18-2011 09:35 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X If A-B-C-D didn't drag out their part of the Alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn't have to be so rushed.

<--Rate | Submitted: 08-22-2011 16:35 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X If you want to find a missing person, put their pictures on cigarettes. Smokers are the only ones standing outside in all kinds of weather.

<--Rate | Submitted: 09-13-2011 12:40 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X "The Force" is weird. How come a Jedi can detect a planet being destroyed light years away but can't tell he is kissing his own sister?

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-21-2011 09:12 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X I wish I could commute by roller coaster.

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-14-2011 17:04 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X That was insensitive. I asked you to stop being stupid without considering how incredibly difficult that must be for you.

<--Rate | Submitted: 10-06-2011 10:57 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X You know it's going to be a bad day when your horoscope starts with… “Are you sitting down?”

<--Rate | Submitted: 08-12-2011 12:25 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Selecting a menu item at a Mexican restaurant is easy once you decide how many times you want your food folded.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-07-2012 10:20 by SuthernFukr Comments (1)

X I wish one of the walls in my bedroom was a giant Lite-Brite.

<--Rate | Submitted: 10-20-2011 10:07 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Has that kid in the Dreamworks logo even caught a single fish yet?

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-20-2011 09:41 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Starting to think Herman Cain only ran for President so people would find out how much he gets laid.

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-29-2011 09:54 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X My office Christmas party is tonight, which means my office apology party will be tomorrow.

<--Rate | Submitted: 12-16-2011 11:52 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X I wish this conversation had GPS because you lost me about 20 words ago.

<--Rate | Submitted: 01-14-2012 10:31 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Butt dialing was a lot harder with rotary phones.

<--Rate | Submitted: 06-06-2012 18:23 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Whoa! Thank you warning label! I was actually considering using my new floor lamp in the shower.

<--Rate | Submitted: 01-05-2012 10:03 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)