Hiyourjon Funny Status Messages



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Page: 7 of 11

   messageicon Laziness walks in my family
←Rate | 06-10-2013 22:50 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon "We find the defendant....right there, in the chair next to the defense attorney" "Good work jury, now its your turn to hide"
←Rate | 06-10-2013 15:38 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm proud of anyone who has quit doing drugs and alcohol, I don't want to hang out with you now... but I'm still very proud...
←Rate | 06-09-2013 22:38 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I want you to come inside me." - Buildings
←Rate | 06-07-2013 20:45 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon TO THE GOVERNMENT AGENTS WHO'VE BEEN ILLEGALLY MONITORING OUR TEXTS, ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS THIS: Was that message I sent Ashley too forward?
←Rate | 06-07-2013 18:10 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon My favorite Lil Wayne song is the one where he sounds like a constipated muppet trying to list off active ingredients in Children’s Tylenol.
←Rate | 06-06-2013 10:03 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thesaurus .cōm is down which is inconvenient and also inconvenient.
←Rate | 06-05-2013 21:07 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I finally got one of those "Stop Bullying" bracelets... I stole it off of some nerd at the park.
←Rate | 06-05-2013 20:42 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Judging by all the cracking and popping noises my body makes when I work out, I'd say I'm about 74% Rice Krispies.
←Rate | 06-05-2013 18:48 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
←Rate | 06-03-2013 15:44 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I feel like every episode of Cops was filmed in June of 1993.
←Rate | 06-03-2013 15:00 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon if I had a kid that was a Belieber I'd lock them in a room with the White Album playing until they snapped out of it
←Rate | 06-02-2013 22:13 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon God put a woman in the bible and she ruined the whole book in the first chapter
←Rate | 06-02-2013 01:13 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Roll up to Uhaul store, roll down all the windows, blast "I Like to Move It" until they call the police
←Rate | 06-01-2013 22:56 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon internet ad: "are you tired of jerking off?" no
←Rate | 06-01-2013 13:23 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon The weather is so hot it just told me I’d make a great friend.
←Rate | 05-31-2013 13:30 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your hat is intentionally crooked while you are pushing a stroller then we know your child was an accident.
←Rate | 05-27-2013 23:12 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon How do people dumb enough to buy $500 sunglasses make enough money to buy $500 sunglasses?
←Rate | 05-26-2013 23:14 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon When they say "all expenses paid," does that include bail?
←Rate | 05-26-2013 22:53 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Doctor says I'm a serious alcoholic, but I think I'm more of a funny alcoholic.
←Rate | 05-25-2013 14:40 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  




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