hihuggiehi Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon The really great thing about working in the concert business is there is absolutely no way to prove that the weed smell is coming from me.
←Rate | 01-29-2012 08:08 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're going to stalk me at least notice when I'm running low on toilet paper & change the roll.
←Rate | 01-29-2012 08:10 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know....spring must be just around the corner....I just saw 2 crackheads pawning a space heater....who needs a dumbass groundhog?
←Rate | 01-29-2012 19:13 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's bullsh!t that 1-800-PET-MEDS won't deliver medicinal marijuana to my dog.
←Rate | 02-03-2012 04:19 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I'm ever in an accident while driving and updating my status and you're the first person to arrive on the scene, grab my phone and press "Post."
←Rate | 02-05-2012 20:06 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Louis Vuitton's selling $68 condoms? Fine by me. Anyone idiotic enough to spend that much money on a condom probably shouldn't breed.
←Rate | 02-09-2012 18:47 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon To make sure your neighbor knows it was their car alarm that went off, it can be helpful to put a cinderblock through their windshield.
←Rate | 02-10-2012 19:23 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just sang every word of Adele's "Someone Like You" and all this girl said was "Do you understand why I pulled you over?" Rude.
←Rate | 02-17-2012 17:25 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon The hotel is mad at me for getting a haircut in the jacuzzi. Sorry for trying to look nice at a Holiday Inn.
←Rate | 02-17-2012 17:26 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I have to make a phone call and it goes to voicemail...I feel like I just won the lottery.
←Rate | 02-17-2012 17:27 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hate when I'm having a great day and someone speaks to me.
←Rate | 02-17-2012 17:28 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you aren't sure if you like someone, here's a test: imagine they're dead. Now, was it an accident or did you murder them?
←Rate | 02-24-2012 18:49 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Doing pretty good so far on my 1500 calorie a day diet as long as I don't eat anything else today and tomorrow.
←Rate | 02-24-2012 18:49 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies. dont jump to conclusions that your boyfriend is cheating just because he never wants you to look at his phone. Its probably just full of porn
←Rate | 02-24-2012 18:49 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate looking for a job almost as much I hate not having a job almost as much as I hate working. It's complicated.
←Rate | 02-24-2012 18:50 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I couldn't find the thingy that peels the carrots and potatoes, so I asked the kids if they'd seen it. Apparently she left me yesterday.
←Rate | 02-24-2012 18:51 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon A night of insomnia is always followed by a morning of browser history clearing.
←Rate | 02-24-2012 18:52 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Longest a man can hold out without eating is 4 months but me and my checking account are challenging that.
←Rate | 02-24-2012 18:53 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ghandi, MLK and Nelson Mandela are heroes of mine because they preached non-violence and also I don't think they wore Tap Out t-shirts.
←Rate | 02-26-2012 11:32 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Social media - keeping people away from each other since 2006.
←Rate | 02-26-2012 11:33 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  



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