totalpackage Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Hussein☑ Bin Laden ☑ Ghadafi ☑ Jerry Sandusky ☐.....I'm sending "SEAL Team 6" over to Sandusky's at Penn State to take care of this matter!
←Rate | 11-10-2011 19:08 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon Conrad Murray got 4 years in the slam for killing Whacko Jacko......But he's feeling much better about the outcome since Lindsay Lohan assured him he'd probably be released in about 12 hours...
←Rate | 12-01-2011 16:47 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder why these "Occupy Wall St." people can't find a more exciting place to protest like Hooters or Bourbon Street?!...By the looks of most of them, they would be lucky if they could occupy Sesame Street!
←Rate | 10-17-2011 01:53 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon noticed it's very difficult these days to find something on television that doesn't have to do with cake! :/
←Rate | 08-18-2011 14:05 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think these bath salts turned me into Hannibal Lector...I just ate a Jehovah's Witness with a side of fava beans! ツ
←Rate | 06-07-2012 22:25 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon Casey Anthony turned up missing after being released from jail....Florida police plan on sending officers to investigate it----In 31 days.
←Rate | 07-17-2011 00:58 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon I sure wish they'd invent an app that keeps birds from crapping on my car! :/
←Rate | 11-19-2012 01:18 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon After losing Gronkowski to injury and Hernandez for murder, I heard Tom Brady is ecstatic that Tim Tebow will be handling the duty of "tight end" next season. ツ
←Rate | 06-26-2013 16:19 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon Steelers menu tonight: 4 & 20 black (dirty) birds baked in a pie!
←Rate | 11-06-2011 12:22 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wished I had a Med-Alert bracelet....I've fallen off the fiscal cliff, and I can't reach my Jager-Bomb! ツ
←Rate | 12-29-2012 00:47 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon I set my daylight savings time back 13 years so I could party like it was 1999!
←Rate | 11-04-2012 00:55 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love to use the holidays as an excuse to gift, re-gift and de-gift meaningless merchandise.....I wonder if that would qualify me as an "Indian Gifter"? ツ
←Rate | 11-23-2011 00:04 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bought myself a shiny new toy that goes from zero to 215 in just three seconds......L.E.D bathroom scales! ツ
←Rate | 11-26-2011 00:15 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently one of those 3 wishes he got from "Jeanie" didn't include livong forever....RIP Larry Hagman
←Rate | 11-24-2012 15:17 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon At least they performed better than the Ram pickup you push to Kragen every day...lol.----Okay, not original but I HAD to do it!
←Rate | 09-12-2011 08:43 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't understand Bill Clinton's surge in popularity....Didn't he leave office a dozen years ago as an impeached, disgraced, censured, lying, philandering 2 timing, womanizing, intern-humping, hillbilly?
←Rate | 10-10-2012 21:51 by totalpackage Comments (2)  


   messageicon I really wish "Mayhem" from Allstate would eliminate "Flo" from Progressive!
←Rate | 08-15-2012 14:13 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon A new poll says 50% want Trump and 50% want Killary... Me?... I just want a lobotomy..
←Rate | 07-17-2016 22:30 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon Andy Rooney vapor locked today at age 92. I don't want to say he was old, but I heard his Social Security number was "1".....RIP you miserable old fart!
←Rate | 11-05-2011 15:27 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon All I'm saying is that teasing orthodontic patients does NOT make me a "brace-ist!"
←Rate | 01-07-2013 17:19 by totalpackage Comments (0)  



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