SuthernFukr Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon You can always count on mom's to gasp in horror when you're about to hit a car that's 300 yards away.
←Rate | 12-16-2011 12:25 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best nicknames are the ones people don't know they have.
←Rate | 11-15-2011 09:36 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Haven't seen David Blaine in a long time. I'd say it's his best trick ever.
←Rate | 06-06-2012 12:33 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If it weren't for physics and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable.
←Rate | 06-18-2012 09:53 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The correct answer to "How are you?" is "Fine." If you ever stray from that dialogue, please know that nobody gives a sh!t.
←Rate | 07-22-2011 14:02 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gadaffi has been killed but unfortunately the 14 other spellings of his name remain at large.
←Rate | 10-20-2011 10:34 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I miss being able to use the excuse "I wasn't home when you called."
←Rate | 11-04-2011 08:50 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon There aren't many passengers on this train of thought.
←Rate | 08-09-2011 13:25 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's time to stop making the same old mistakes in your life. Get creative. Make some new ones.
←Rate | 10-11-2011 11:35 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think if my rich neighbor realized just how awesome of a party he is going to have at his house tonight, he wouldn't leave for vacation.
←Rate | 09-21-2011 10:17 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The festive hustle and bustle of the holiday season sure does bring out the best in no one.
←Rate | 12-22-2011 11:14 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why don't people ever hoard good stuff? I if I were a hoarder, I'd have a house full of cupcakes and slip-n-slides.
←Rate | 07-13-2011 16:22 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't believe we made a movie that is essentially giving the apes a blueprint on how to take over the Earth.
←Rate | 08-05-2011 13:18 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like how the package for cotton swabs says don't put them in your ears and everyone in the world is thinking: "WTF else would I do with them?!"
←Rate | 08-09-2011 14:46 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Is it just me or do those red foil wrapped Hershey's kisses taste almost identical to the silver foil Hershey's kisses? I'll keep testing.
←Rate | 01-10-2012 13:53 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon How exactly is carrying a screaming two year old different from playing the bagpipes?
←Rate | 01-22-2012 11:56 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I washed the car with my son today. Worst.sponge.EVER.
←Rate | 01-29-2012 09:27 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're upset about seeing a middle finger on TV, you're going to sh!t yourself when you see everything else going on in the world.
←Rate | 02-07-2012 09:25 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yawning is your body's way of saying 20% of battery remaining.
←Rate | 09-08-2011 10:43 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Has that kid in the Dreamworks logo even caught a single fish yet?
←Rate | 11-20-2011 09:41 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  



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