Snotty Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon They say men think about sex every 7 seconds, so when I eat a hotdog I try to finish it in 6 seconds so it doesn’t get awkward.
←Rate | 02-06-2016 07:32 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon The most frustrating thing I've ever tried to do was throw away a trash can.
←Rate | 12-13-2015 19:44 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Had a mishap while making coffee just now that is best explained through interpretive dance...
←Rate | 03-31-2012 14:52 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know it's 3 meals a day,,,,,, But how many at night?
←Rate | 04-06-2012 18:04 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Next time someone presses the elevator button you've already pressed,,, act totally impressed & tell them they did it waaaay better than you.
←Rate | 04-08-2012 08:31 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Question: : What do you get if you add human DNA to a goat? ... Answer: Kicked out of the petting zoo
←Rate | 12-30-2013 17:28 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I never win at Scrable
←Rate | 03-31-2012 21:37 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a theory that the world will end in 5105, and we've been reading the Mayan calendar upside down
←Rate | 01-11-2012 18:04 by snotty Comments (2)  


   messageicon I guess I prefer Subway because they make me feel like I'm making the healthy decision when I order a loaf of bread with 18 meatballs on it.
←Rate | 03-21-2012 18:15 by snotty Comments (1)  


   messageicon My neighbor is the CEO of a factory that makes annoying children
←Rate | 03-30-2012 11:23 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got my killer quads from hovering over public toilets.
←Rate | 10-19-2014 18:57 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Eggnog is perfect for when you feel like drinking a glass of pancake batter.
←Rate | 11-23-2014 18:41 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well, today was a complete waste of clean clothes.
←Rate | 10-20-2013 07:31 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hello and welcome to DeVry orientation.. Sign-in sheets are on the left, Steve is passing out your diplomas,,, thanks & congrats class of 10:47.
←Rate | 02-02-2014 07:57 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon My favourite part of driving through my state,, is the four-mile stretch of highway that isn’t under construction.
←Rate | 04-15-2015 15:36 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I LOVE sleeping,,,,,, It's like being dead,,, Without all the commitment
←Rate | 01-07-2012 13:35 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon My driver's side window stopped working,,,, So yeah,, I'm probably gonna starve to death..
←Rate | 08-11-2012 11:11 by snotty Comments (5)  


   messageicon Hey,,, guy that puts the stickers on tomatoes,,,,,, NOBODY likes you.
←Rate | 06-30-2012 08:14 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Huh?,, Daylight Saving Time is this weekend?,,,,I'm not going to lose any sleep over it
←Rate | 11-05-2011 07:57 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Awww.... It looks like the neighbors are having the police dept over for brunch..
←Rate | 04-24-2012 01:01 by snotty Comments (0)  


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