SEAN Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon FYI- Clear plastic bra straps make you look like you're stuffed in a 6-pack ring.
←Rate | 04-03-2013 08:11 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon My ex offered me a ride to the appointment, I declined and politely told her that I didn't think we would both fit on her broom...
←Rate | 10-19-2011 08:46 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‎20 years from now, some adults are going to say they grew up on the "bad part of town," meaning there was no 4G in that area.
←Rate | 11-18-2011 14:56 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon This pregnancy test confirmed my worst fear..... I'm just fat.
←Rate | 12-22-2014 13:36 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon My smart phone has a lot of capabilities, but none as valuable as being able to pretend I'm on it when I run into someone I know in public.
←Rate | 04-19-2012 08:49 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were NOT the correct answers.
←Rate | 11-16-2011 11:14 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being alive is so expensive.
←Rate | 08-20-2013 11:09 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon well how long before we see KC Royals World Series shirts on the news during an ebola segment in Africa. ...
←Rate | 10-29-2014 23:45 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't want to brag, but I've been told by no less than 6 women I've ruined their lives.
←Rate | 09-12-2013 11:13 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like how none of the "robbers" on that Vonage commercial are black. Way to dodge that bullet, Vonage.
←Rate | 12-19-2011 11:57 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever have one of those days when your keys kicked your ass at a game of hide and seek?
←Rate | 04-15-2011 09:08 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guys communicate by insulting each other, but don't really mean it. Girls communicate by complimenting each other, but don't really mean it.
←Rate | 09-06-2013 08:59 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best part about pooping with the door open in the morning is being able to see everyone's face at Starbucks.
←Rate | 10-17-2012 14:19 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got fired from work on pajama day... It's not my fault I sleep naked.
←Rate | 10-15-2012 07:58 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can't believe it's the Chinese New Year. I'm still writing Rabbit on all of my checks.
←Rate | 01-24-2012 17:36 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm glad Lassie wasnt my dog. I just want to watch TV, I don't want to be constantly rescuing people.
←Rate | 06-04-2013 14:12 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon You name it, my mother knows somebody who died of it.
←Rate | 12-09-2013 09:50 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I didn't sign up for the 401k at my new job, because there's no way I can run that far.
←Rate | 11-21-2013 10:05 by SEAN Comments (2)  


   messageicon I have a six figure salary. Unfortunately, all six figures are to the right of the decimal point.
←Rate | 11-07-2011 14:02 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Middle East and Kim Kardashian's a$$ have a lot in common. Both are massive, have tons of oil, and have been invaded by the West.
←Rate | 10-14-2015 13:38 by SEAN Comments (0)  



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