MWC Funny Status Messages



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Page: 7 of 13

   messageicon I'm exercising, eating right & watching my alcohol intake. So don't cross me...I'm sober & I'm cranky.
←Rate | 01-22-2013 12:09 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Be kind to your dentist because he has fillings too.
←Rate | 04-16-2014 08:35 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sence its started raining, all my wife has done is looking through the windows. If it gets any worse I'm gonna have to let her in!
←Rate | 10-09-2012 17:59 by MWC Comments (1)  


   messageicon You know your old when you come close to shaving your nipple off while trying to shave your legs!
←Rate | 02-27-2014 09:08 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know the ZZ Top song, Sharp Dressed Man? I stop singing after "every girls crazy"
←Rate | 10-07-2015 16:24 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Man that wind is really blowing hard out. I seen a chicken lay the same egg three times..
←Rate | 10-30-2012 07:24 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life holds many challenges an can be quite frustrating. Especially for you because you're a dumba$$.
←Rate | 10-04-2012 20:47 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife told me I had a great face for radio. That wasn't nice. At least my ex's said nice things about me, they said I was better in bed then most my friends
←Rate | 03-15-2015 19:00 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon On the advice of my attorney, I plead the 5th on EXACTLY what I did for a Klondike Bar.
←Rate | 09-26-2012 07:02 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey! Just because I'm a jerk to your face, doesn't mean I don't talk sweet about you behind your back!
←Rate | 01-23-2013 10:51 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only thing worse than a cold toilet seat in a Port-A-Potty...is a warm one.
←Rate | 10-09-2012 06:43 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I stopped talking back to the voices in my head, and now they’ve started texting me…
←Rate | 04-18-2013 18:18 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its hard to soar like an eagle when ur running around with turkeys
←Rate | 09-23-2012 17:04 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon As a kid I remember my dad taking us to a hill and rolling us down in tires. Them were Good Years
←Rate | 11-18-2012 21:03 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its the end of the world as we know it, but I feel fine
←Rate | 12-21-2012 10:07 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I praise these men and women of this proud and God fearing nation they are so important to the history of this country with out them we would be under someone else's rule. I thank you mlitary men and women. Posted to the idiot who didn't sign his name!!
←Rate | 11-11-2012 20:41 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know your getting fat when you go to unbotton your pants...and it already done
←Rate | 10-21-2012 15:52 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Going vegetarian is a missed steak.......sorry had to
←Rate | 04-06-2014 20:56 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today local police found an unidentified man's body in a park nearby. They describe him as having a Beer Belly, Saggy Balls, Wrinkly Ass and a tiny little Wiener. I was just checking to make sure that you are okay.
←Rate | 08-03-2014 08:35 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is a fine line between fishing and standing on shore looking like an idiot
←Rate | 03-11-2014 12:00 by MWC Comments (0)  



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